How, you ask yourself, is she going to get to Wilsonville?

I don't know.

I think about getting another car, but just can't. I did the math while riding on the bus this week and figured that to travel as inexpensively as bus/train that I would have to given a car for free, have free insurance on said car, and have to get 50 mpg. not happening. I keep picking up lucky penny's, but it hasn't paid off yet.

I just know that I can't limit myself in regards of my "career" and it really isn't a career, I am just another hamster on a wheel trying to make ends meet every month. But at this new job, I have the OPPORTUNITY to learn more and get paid more. That is what I am after. I have maxed out as an admin assistant.

celebrating

I have had my shot of Crown Royal, a few beers, and pizza with friends.

When I told one of my friends' husband, he got tears in his eyes and gave me a great big hug!! And then about a million high-fives! Everyone knows how hard I have struggled and how hard i have worked. He said he would be my slave for the night and would give me anything I wanted. Well, all I wanted was to borrow his car so I could go home and feed and potty the dog.

Now, I just need to find someone to make love with. That would top it all off nicely, don't you think?

I JUST GOT THE CALL!!!!!!

I FINALLY FINALLY
GOT THAT JOB IN WILSONVILLE

I effing hate people sometimes

the new lady at work well i just hate her sometimes
why do people say rude things?
we were talking about my leaving htis job and updating my resume and she offered to help which was nice.
then i mentioned iw as only out of work 5 days between my last jobs, i was proud of myself. and she smarted off with, 'yeah but you had a friend that worked here". so fucking what. that dosn't mean i am any less hireable, qualified or valuable does it? of course not. i effing hate people sometimes.

can you imagine a 289 foot commute???

god takes my car, he takes my kids, he takes my money, he makes me do things i would never have considered doing, and i get to interview for a job next week and the commute is 289 feet.

289 feet. that is what it said on mapqwest.

Tight skirt, bus stop

I love a great joke! And this is nothing like a great joke! Current mood: contemplative Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
I ride the bus and train to get to and from work now. My total commute is a minimum of 5 hours every day. About 2 1/2 hrs ea way.
If I didn't have jokes like this, I jump off the Markham Bridge next time the bus I was on drove over it!

Tight Skirt, Bus Stop

One day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach to step.
Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzipped her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step.
So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifted up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step.
So, seeing how embarrassed the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The girl turned around furiously and said, "How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!"
Shocked, the man says, "Well, ma'am, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends."

actually this whole thing is just stupid. i think i will stop now.

more links

http://www.rockymountainnews.com/drmn/local/article/0,1299,DRMN_15_4647800,00.html

http://ezine.kungfumagazine.com/ezine/article.php?article=499

http://www.speroforum.com/site/print.asp?idarticle=2483

http://www.coasttocoastam.com/guests/545.html

http://www.gnn.tv/users/user.php?id=62

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0882822314?v=glance

so today i am trying to find anything i can on this man

i am going to get the book first of all.

then i am going to try to find out where my garbarge is dumped because i would go to the dump and dig it out all those letters i threw away with my bear hands if i could.

i have looked casually for him over the years since our last contact which was approx 1993. i have put his name on my blogs, yahoo id stuff, etc. but nothing ever came back until yesterday. July 19, 2007. his name is on this blog, on like the very first page when i wrote my 103 things about me. It is #7. That is nearly at the top of the list. I wrote that particular list in the spring of 2005.

I wonder if he wrote any other books and how i would find them.

can i cuss on here?

goddamnit to fucking hell i have never been so mad. (at myself)

Just three short weeks ago i threw away an entire box that was full of love letters, cards, pictures, poems, gifts and memorbilia from my very first love. I threw away the script from the play we were in together - that is how we first met. he was the only man, in my whole freaking miserable life, that ever made me feel loved. now it turns out that my very first love led a crazy fantastic life and is famous! and i probably could have sold all of that stuff and made some money. and money is what i need, baby. Cash flow, that is all I care about.

here is the link that explains it a little of it, i just don't have the energy right now. http://www.amazon.com/Race-Against-Evil-Criminals-Real-life/dp/0882822314/ref=sr_1_1/104-8909895-3902343?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1184952094&sr=8-1
that is the link to his book on amazon.com
there is a lot more and i will put the links i have found so far on here.

I have looked for him - on and off - for years. We never forget our first love, right? And wonder where they are, what they are doing. And it was an epic love. The first, the deepest, the longest lasting. Through different states, different colleges, different religions, different parts of the worlds, marriages and children-and death. I wouldn't be with him now of course, but a part of us always wonders...where are they now? what are they doing? are they ok? Love is love, thru time, space, distance, dreams. I saw you again, I walked where we first walked...I have memorized nearly all the hundreds of poems he wrote me. (if he wrote them at all, it makes a person question stuff) The good news is that it doesnt really matter now, but it sure is interesting!!

he is actually a fake and an utter liar, according to what I just now found out, and he has been arrested and may still be in prison, i don't know. but it is all very fascinating and i was his love as all this was going on.
since 1980.
for 27 years i have beebn moving this box of love letters, poems, etc everywhere I go. Just like I move all my babies first pictures, report cards, etc.

AND THEN A FEW WEEKS AGO AS I WAS PACKING TO MOVE, I DECIDED IT WAS FINALLY TIME TO GET RID OF EVERYTHING HE HAD GIVEN ME. (Except for one book of poetry he gave me and a small box of letters, poems, etc. ) They were serving no purpose, hadn't served a purpose for decades, and i was really tired of packing all these boxes of stuff. I mean I really cleaned out my closets of clothes, got rid of I don't know how many boxes and bags of books, etc.

i just have to get this posted and will add more as i have time. un-effing-believable. My mind is spinning.

note to self: maybe men like Howard do exist...see previous post.

asset or liability?

we are conviced we need cars, when in reality they are just another liability. Current mood: amused
this is so ironic.
i manage to get my car, whose transmission just stopped working, towed to my apartment. then we get a notice that the parking lot at my apartment complex is going to be repaved AND I NEED TO FIND ALTERNATE PARKING!
(my girls and i are going to push it aways down the road , and then push it back a few days later. the good news is that we really don't have to move it that far)
I have saved SO MUCH MONEY ON GAS. I really don't mind NOT HAVING A CAR. Now, my new commute is an entire new subject and going to be a real pain the arse'.
i am going to ride my daughters bike approx one mile to the nearest max train station. get on max and change trains either two or three times, and then ride the bike about 2-3 miles to my current job. It will take about 128 minutes.

WE GOT THE JOB!

We got the job. Well, almost, it is so close I can taste it! Or at least I am one step closer...it just felt good to say it. Actually I have been told I have the job for months now, but it dosn't mean a whole lot yet till they get on the payroll.
The person that i am to replace has finally left!! The position is open. And the bank manager wants me there bad!!!
I was unable to go to the beach like i had been planning for the last I d0n't know how many months and months. But as it turned out I got to have PF Changs (sp?) chinese food and cold, cold beer with my supposed new boss and I got the good news! I can even get a ride from her to Wilsonville 2-3 days a wk (and i sure hope she dosn't let me down cuz she has a horrible attendance record! Calling in sick for sunburns, hangovers, etc) so...now we wait again...got to get the final ok from her district managers...i am so scared. i am so excited.

this is the link to my old job. this is an ad on craigslist that i found.

when I started this two years ago my starting wage was way more money than they are offerin!! then i got a butt load of raises every few months and made more money than ever.

it makes me sad to see this cuz i really miss that job and those people.

well i am still in touch with some of the people and a bunch of us are going to the beach for the weekend this weekend. but it is not the same as seeing them everyday and working side by side with them.

i have a new boss that started here today and i nearly punched her in the mouth and walked out the door. i actually did delete all my emails and clean my desk cuz i may or may not be here in the morning. she made me so mad and i hate confrontation (I am a lover not a fighter) and she got so in my face that i was shaking!!! and i didn't calm down for a long time. i am trying to arrange rides back and forth to work because my car IS STILL BROKE DOWN. i need a transmission. there is no way i can get a transmission! so i asked them if i could leave a little early and this new boss went thru the roof. she would not give me any room to negotiate. no matter what i had to stay till exactly 5:00 today. and i better be here from 8-5 tomorrow. but it was the way she said it that just threw me back. oh bother. I was so upset and really do not know what to expect, except more of the same...

ps
it is nearly 7pm and i am still waiting for a ride home. i sent by old boss (who is training the new boss) an email that said, "If I am asleep under your desk in the morning, please do not wake me up until the coffee is made". i hope she will laugh. she is my friend. I worked with her at my last job. I have been to her church and her home. Our kids play together. but she found a better job and is leaving.

this is my car. this is my car after my teenager drove it, any questions?

well she didn't crash it, but it did break down. this is how i feel. i feel like this picture looks.

Mawgawrita: Oupa!

Mawgawrita: Oupa!

http://www.greekcusina.com/

Men like Howard do not exist

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=178325652

Have you read this?! Funniest I heard in a long time!

Martin, a loving husband, was in trouble. He forgot his weddinganniversary and his wife was really ticked off at him. She told him,"tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goesfrom 0 to 200 in under 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE."The next morning, Martin got up really early before work.
When his wife woke up a couple of hours later, she looked out thewindow, and sure enough, there was a small gift-wrapped box sitting inthe middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran outto the driveway, and took the box into the house. She opened it, andfound a brand new bathroom scale.
Martin is not yet well enough to receive visitors.

I miss my old apt

Where we are living now is so small!
I miss my old apt so much. it was huge! Like 1,500 sq ft including the deck.

I have always disliked sales people.

I would never-ever-no-matter-what-in-my-whole-life date a sales man.

It has just always been a rule of mine.

(but i think i might be turning into one!)

Check it out, so this granite & marble gig (job I have been at since April) is starting to work out ok. Our boss has left for China and I have a little less supervision (micro management). I have made some sales today!! We do marble, granite, travertine, etc. counters. I actually had a pretty fun day!! People came in and called and there were no other sales people here, the boss is in China and the shop workers do not speak English. So, I had to figure this all out on my own and I rocked!!!

And on Fridays I wear jeans to work and it is so sexy to go out in the warehouse and get all dirty!

When other sales staff/employees are here, they butt into my business (work). So I back off and let them take over. But often times the customer will still stand by me, look at me and talk to me because I think they know that I click well with people! I listen to what they say and ask appropriate questions regarding what they want and need. When I started this job, even though I am a receptionist/administrative assistant, the boss told me if I sell marble/granite I will make the commission money. I liked that idea because that means more money for me! (Sidebar: I got a $1 per hour raise on my second day because he liked me so much!). See, people just pay me because I am nice. I have been screening new applicants for an accounting position here, and the ones I like best are n.i.c.e. they all have similar skills but the nice ones are really much more enjoyable to be around!!

this is me

I need to find a job where I can get paid to be nice.
That is me.
nice.
and nice matters.
I hate it.
I wish I had more skills.
There are no jobs where someone will pay you to be nice.
I have looked.
they don't exist.
Then...
I saw a quote by Maya Angelou. "People will not remember what you said. They will not remember what you did. They will remember how you made them feel."
I started this card business. Home based and in my "free time". It is fun. I like people and I have a lot of nice friends and family. It is important they know I love and appreciate them.
I can be nice to people. Show other people how to be nice to people.
Earn money. Not sure where that will fit into this scenario exactly. But I think the money will follow later.

I also think I would be a good motivational speaker, but I don't have any topics I could cover eloquently.

ahhh...the "other new job" what a nightmare trying to get it has been (since you asked :))

my supposed new manager at the job in Wilsonville a freakin' alcoholic. And the person who's job I was supposed to take/fill hasn't actually left yet.
"business meetings/interviews" are conducted with infinite amounts of alcohol. Of which we have had a few. And, the next day it seems as if the entire conversation is erased from their memory. Or at least the parts I am interested in. They think I am very qualified but the other two bosses that I have interviewed with also, just want to put me in a lower position that also float to different branches (lots of driving=lots of gas money) and pays less. It would get my foot in the door but I just can't take the lower pay.
Can I?
Even if there are benefits. I must have cash flow, baby, cash flow!!!

I moved this weekend into a smaller apt and feel like I am in college.



(Except for all the children running around)

My Online Biz: On Being the Mother of Twins

My Online Biz: On Being the Mother of Twins

Me so solly!!

I feel silly!
I was perusing Oregon Blogs, and then Hillsboro Blogs (the city where i live), and people are talking about really important things like the war and the 2008 presidential election and where to find great deals and good customer service locally!
All I talk about is me, me, me. Oh, I am so embarassed. But this is just about me. and the kids. a single mother of four. pretty boring. there are my sex posts but NOW that just makes me even MORE embarassed because it turns out that Hillsboro is a pretty small town and MY PICTURE is on the front page of my blog! I get a lot of phone calls and emails for dates and I always felt like they were just wanting to see me cuz they thought I was easy and they were just hard up for sex, I mean seriously!! Married men!! NOT! And they say things like they will leave their wife and marry me, and how I am the perfect woman, etc. That is because they THINK I would have sex with them (and we all know married men AIN'T gettin' no lovin') and they are lonely and just need some reassurance that they are desirable. I am a nice girl. I look like the girl next door and I say "hello, goodbye, please and thank you" to people just like my mama taught me, but men take that as a sign and think they can get in my panties...?
I grew up in a small town of 1100 people ( grew up and never left as I lived there for 34 flippin' years!) So I move to the "city" of like 80-some-odd-thousand people and I am so happy for my perceived "anonymity" that I just blah blah blah my whole life story for the whole world to see!!

some people critize other people for taking these silly online tests

But I like myself, and the more you know me you will like me, too.

Besides, as much as I need professional psychiatric care I simply can't afford it.

This is much more fun, don't you think?

What I have really been thinking about lately is pretending I am on a fabulous vacation!! I will stay at home but pretend I am in Mexico, for example. I will lay out on my deck and drink margaritas all day, things like that. I think it would be spectacular! I will wear pretty dresses and dance in my living room! And maybe sleep out on the deck under the stars and pretend I am sleeping on the beach.

some people critize other people for taking these silly tests

But I like myself. And the more you know about me, the more you will like me, too!

You Are 94% Tortured Genius

You totally fit the profile of a tortured genius. You're uniquely brilliant - and completely misunderstood.Not like you really want anyone to understand you anyway. You're pretty happy being an island.

http://www.blogthings.com/areyouatorturedgeniusquiz/">Are You a Tortured Genius?

I am probably the last person in the US to know of this site

My ex-wife as I call her (the lady that is married to my second ex husband. I like her, but can't stand him!) has a boy in Baghdad, so I am keeping a closer eye on this than ever before.

Did you hear about the skunk that went to church?

He had his own pew.

Brandon James. We had a garage sale at a friends and he has a little table sitting in front of him with a couple of his old toys he dosn't play with any more. This boy LIKES money! I have never seen him sit still so long as on this afternoon. He made $2 and was thrilled. My kids know I can't not give them money (or much else) and that they must find some way to earn it themselves. And believe you me, they often have more money than I do!! This makes me proud of them. I overhear them say to each other, "Don't tell mom you have any money, she will want to borrow it." Cracks me up!!

At the beach in Seaside, OR.

On the swings at the beach in Seaside, OR.

Brandy Elizabeth. I just love my kids so much and wish I could do a better job providing for them.

Overqualified, underqualified.

I feel like I have no skills, but after interviews I am told I am overqualified. That means they don't want to pay me enough. (my words) boo.
My possible future manager at the job in Wilsonville, was supposed to have a meeting with her manager (s) today. We have been going back and forth on my actual job description and rate of pay. I just dont know what is going to happen.
I have found another apt and move the end of June. It will be ok I think.
I really need benefits again.

today i caught myself bowing to the phone

i talk with China a lot, and today when i hung up the call, I bowed to my friend I was talking to...I wondered if she bowed to me?

OH! Nicola Raffo - our Italian Marble distributor, from Italy! was here today for an appt. It was devine!! He wasn't necissarily THAT good looking, but he was tall and from Italy! That carries a certain appeal. and he kissed my hand. yummy!

Dublin! Introduce yourself!

beautiful!

ok so i dont WANT to sound like a big baby,

all i do is cry

big interview tomorrow for the job i really want, but i am so beaten down right now that i just don't know how i am going to get up the job glam facade to go into that interview and convince them to give ME that job.

my start date at the new job was supposed to be May 14

my start date at the new job was supposed to be May 14.
It is now May 25 and the interview was postponed yet ANOHTER two weeks.

hmph! boo. i tried really hard to not make it a cancer, but i was also very honest. now you take the test.

Your True Love Is a Cancer

Why you'll love a Cancer: Cancer's loyal and sincere heart makes your own sensitive heart melt. Caring and devoted, a Cancer will take the lead in pursuing you - and not give up! Why a Cancer will love you: You're laid back enough to deal with Cancer's little mood swings and freak-outs. A fellow homebody, you know how make Cancer comfortable and at home with you.

What Sign Is Your True Love?

don't know who said this, but i like it!

The difficult we do immeditately; the impossible takes a little longer.

my interview was postponed again!

the interview will be sometime next week they say now. The only reason I want that job is because it pays better and has benefits! ok, I should say "the only reason" because IT IS A GOOD REASON! It's not that I am into banking - not any more into it than I was into aluminum railing or am into marble counter tops.

the kids had health benefits the last four months i was at this last job. now we are back to nothing. where i am has no benefits. i keep having to start over. and over. and over.

Oh! speaking of starting over, i just started my "own" business. it is a home based business i hooked up through with a friend. send me your mailing address and i will mail you the info. it is really cool. i just need a name for my business. maybe you can help me think of one.

back to work issues: this really sucks. i am thinking of sending my son to live with his dad and just the girls and i getting a one bedroom apt. i am always afraid to make major life decisions, like moving, because you never know what is going to happen. if i keep the job i am at i will have to pay less rent. if i get the better job i can stay where i am. in the meantime, i still have to pay rent somewhere!!

poop.

and then there is still hanging over my head the fact that i have that really cool bbq that i can't use. if i keep this job i will never be able to afford to buy the gas can. if i get the new job, i will probably be able to afford the gas can. so do i keep the dang thing or not???

i will never make as much money as i did at my last job

i have set myself up for failure. there are no jobs, except the one in wilsonville which keeps putting me off for that third interview, that pay as good as my last job.
i have a very nice apartment which i wont be able to keep, the kids will probably have to change schools yet again. I really hate that part. I grew up in the same house in the same school, with the same kids my whole life. I really value that stability, i only wish i could provide the same for my kids. i really really really am not sure that i like this job. i am just so sad right now. there is nothing happy. it's all work, cook, clean. then my dang mom - dont get me started on THAT subject. she is so shallow sometimes. she tells me how wonderful her life is and how happy she is and how she has everything she wants...and i can barely keep food on the table. why would she talk like that to me? she is just shallow and unfeeling. i tell her i am miserable and that all i ever do is work and take care of kids...

what really bums me out the most

What bums me out the most isn't the fact that I am not even sure where I will be working, (even tho I am working, I have some tough decisions about which job to take), or where I will be living (because where I will be working/how much I will be making determines if I can keep my current apartment or if I will have to downsize) but what really bothers me is the fact that I have this great new - free- barbeque but I can't afford the freakin' gas tank to make the thing actually work. That is what bums me out. NOT EVEN the fact that because I had to change jobs and have to drive so far now that my daycare is going up $800 a month. Ok that bums me out a lot. And the price of gas bums me out.
Not even the fact that I am leaving work right now and have to sit in a hot car, in the hot sun (that part makes me happy) with my heater running to help keep the engine cool because my car wants to overheat and I may sit on the free way for up to an hour and a half if traffic is bad.
All that dosn't bum me out as much as not being able to bbq. Have a good evening. ")

She moves in mysterious ways

She moves in mysterious ways. God that is:
So I am "stuck" waiting for this other "better" job final job interview to take place. It will be my third interview and they keep putting me off. The job is pretty good, same pay as I left my last job, much better benefits! and bonuses. The job is in the opposite driving direction as this one. Right now, I am about 45 minute commute NE of my home (I bring this up because I had been commuting 8 minutes to work at my previous job). This other job I am considering is South of my home about - actually I am not sure how many miles but I drove down there last week to see how long it would take it is in Wilsonville. It's not so much the time that will bother me but the price of gas - I am not alone there. And my car has been threatening to overheat and if the car dies I am screwed because it will not get fixed, it will just sit until the tags expire and get towed away like my last one...
God moves in mysterious ways: at my last job, the only way to increase my income was to go back to college - and I was all set to do just that. Then they laid me off. (with many many others). So now I have an opportunity to learn a lot about the marble business and become an estimator/project manager/office manager, etc. My income will increase just by on the job training and commissions. That is pretty cool. Same with the job in Wilsonville, although it is at a bank. On the job training, they send you to "banking school" and your income increases. It's like God knew that even though I loved loved loved my last job, that because I was totally committed to staying with that company-that He would have to take that job away from me to get me in a better place financially. Does that make sense?

back on the chain gang

This is where I am now. I was only out of work for 5 days. Didn't even have time to collect unemployment. It is a pretty good job. www.touchstonegranite.com

wil code HTML for food.

got kicked to the curb friday afternoon.

They are eight and 1/2 years old now and all of a suddent they don't want their picture taken any more

The school spring music show was last night, and do you think I could get this little boy to stand still long enough for even one picture?

these just crack me up!

I live for humor, otherwise I would just break down and cry! Heavy doses of anitdepressants also help! :)

cross your fingers for me

going back to college. again.
for like the 53rd time.
i finally make enough to support myself and children (sort of) but it just isn't enough. i want a house.

never too much, never too much

You're a Romantic Kisser

For you, kissing is all about feeling the romance You love to kiss under the stars or by the sea The perfect kiss involves the perfect mood It's pretty common for kisses to sweep you off your feet

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

my little baby girl again!

I am just so proud of her! She is a star basketball player and is on honor roll!

I fixed my own car!

And I am so tired, I can't go into all the details right now, but I am so excited!! It was the same problem as last time and this time I didn't have to pay a mechanic!! That is what i am most excited about!!

I finally finished watching "Stranger Than Fiction"

I finally finished watching "Stranger Than Fiction"
What a sweet little movie! I really enjoyed it. And it only took me three attempts at watching it over a period of about 5 days to get from the beginning to the end of the movie. With four little contenders to over see, if I even try to watch a movie at all it is one interruption after another or I just fall asleep from exhaustion!
I fell in love with Will Farrell in the movie "Elf" which was the first time I had ever seen him and I have to say this is still my favorite. Unfortunately since I have watched it about 100 times, I finally wore out the video and it no longer works.
When I saw Will in Elf for the first time, I thought I had discovered a really wonderful actor, much to my chagrin he has been around for years and years! lol - silly me!
I certainly never stay up late enough to watch Saturday Night Live - its the whole falling asleep exhausted deal again! :)

mother pride

she is 16 1/2 and taking out my car for the first time today, she is supposed to be here to pick me up at work just before 5:00 pm.

I am not worried.

Really.

I have the best kids!

not worried one little bit.

really!! :)

mother pride

Thirteen years old today!

How did such a screw up like me end up with such awesome kids!

no title.

The staff here is driving me crazy!
I am a nervous wreck!
They have not worked here very long at all and don't know shit, but they get these big job titles and big heads and think they know absolutely everything! And they tell me what to do and I just want to scream at them, "I hate you and I think you are stupid and rude and you should go eat a rusted decroded piece of crap and just die!"
But, I want to keep my job and I am not really sure why, oh yeah, cuz I am way overpaid for what I do and couldn't get paid this much anywhere else because my skills are like a high schoolers. In fact I am pretty sure that kids graduating from high school even know more than me!!

My little 6'8" nephew!

college bball went by too fast!!! click on the link to see his stats - his GPA is 3.7 - he says there is nothing to do in that town except study!

woah!

I counted up all the people in my department, that usually staffs 4-5 people. Since I started about a year and a half ago there have been 19 people that have been hired. Two have quit on their own and 17 have been fired. There is only myself and one other lady that have stood the test of time. Another thought on that note is that there were 10 other poeple in this position before me. That is why my nickname is "temp 11". (I was hired as a temp and then put on permanent.)

my new best friend!

My dear sweet little old neighbors gave me this bbq this weekend! They bought themselves a new one for their 47th wedding anniversary. John and Barbara are the nicest people you would ever want to meet. They are always outside working on their flowers and when I pull in we always visit. They are from England so they have these really sweet accents. I can never quite tell if John is saying, "Hello, Dear" or "Hello there." He helps me work on my car and although he is very slow due to age, and he dosn't really help much, he is so kind to try to help. They call cars carriages. "How is your carriage, Dear?" He will ask me and I assure him it is running fine, although it is usually not!! lol.

You can see in the bottom right corner of this picture the old bbq - it is that rusty little broken box...The old one used briquettes but this new one is gas. There is no gas tank with it but I think I can buy a little green one for not very much money.

We can't wait to use the new one!! I am so excited!

I also have all my pretty little lights up out on the patio and some candles out there.

You can also see the bikes, now that the sun is out the children have been riding. They are going to grandma's next for spring break (yeah I can't wait!!!!) and now I just need to figure out how to strap their bikes to my car...I did just buy some bunji cords at the dollar tree recently...

St Patricks Day Parade

The Boy Scouts had to play a little football while they were waiting to load up on the hay wagon and line up for the parade..."THAT is your goal little brother! I have DATED football players", she tells him, "So I know way more than YOU about the game!"

another one bites the dust!

they let one more go...
there is like practically NOBODY here any more...and it's not skills either, this lady brought in $1,000,000 a month, but I am thinking maybe her attitude sucked.

see, not matter what happens, i hold it together, or try to. although someone said to me yesterday, "Laura you are not your usual jovial self."

It is the time change I growled (lied). shit. they are firing people all over the place! I am scared to death. Yeah, and anyway, you try to get four freakin kids up and out the door by 7am during daylight savings time!


did I mention that I really hate mornings?

I forgot to mention

That fat mean lady got fired. The one I called my friend.

I have always hated mornings, in fact, it's the first thing I say every day

mornings-especially Saturday mornings, and Sunday mornings, are made for sleeping and making love. Where it is warm
soft
safe

all i want to do is cry

i don't know anything
i don't do anything

my days here are numbered, they are letting everyone go...

where am I going to find a such a good job?

XLI

Brandon still has not stopped talking about football since we were at the superbowl party!! lol.
He plays every day at recess, he ties to play in the house with his sisters or me!
He plays football video games & watches football on TV.
Last night he says to me, "Mommy don't you wish XLI was on every night!!!" That is what he always calls it, XLI.

I sure love my little man! Their energy and enthusiasm keeps me up! When it is not exhausting me!

That's what I'm talkin' about!

That's what I'm talkin' about!
be sure to click on the words beside little green arrows, because they are links to websites.

I am a dancing fool! It is what I love most I think. Music. Dancing. Going with some friends. Last time we went to...hm...cant think of the place I just remember hollering out the work "oupa!" a lot and breaking plates and dancing! Oh yeah, that was the Greek place with the purple octopus on the roof. Really, and no it wasn't all the Ouza I drank! lol. God, I just love to dance.


"Finding a Salsera or a Salsero in Portland who doesn't know about Fernando's is downright impossible. This is the home of the annual Fernando’s Hideaway Salsa Contest, where everyone is welcome to show off their Salsa art. With Salsa, Merengue, and a full bar, this place is often jam-packed with dancers, as well as people who are just having a few drinks and a pick-up. Dancing at Fernando’s is definitively an experience."

The time I spend not at work, I spend raising money for other stuff

My Three Girls

They took this picture of themselves, I thought it was great. When did they get so old?!

My twins Rock

Brandy in front of her instructors, about 30 class mates and all of the class mates parents. They really put them on the spot, she is a little shy but did fantastic!!

This little guy is so awesome!! I am definately going to have to get a faster digital camera!! My son earned his purple belt his twin sister earned her orange belt (he is not better,he just started sooner) He did a 360 degree side kick-three times in a row, it was awesome!! His teachers were very impressed!

whew! I like the green better!

the red was just for Valentines Day. It made me a little stressed to look at it tho!
Green is so much more soothing.

Speaking of green. The whole tropical theme in my bedroom got a little boring, so I bought a fur blanket and some fur pillows and now I call it "Narnia". I still have the strobe light and a pile of romantic CD's ready to spin. All this is in vain of course, because I am the only one in there! lol.

Aloha!

they are now sending folks to Maui to work. I wrote in my blog a while back that would be doing that and the time has come. Do I want to go? Yes and no.
They may just want to keep me here but I have set up a wonderful repore with the folks on the islands. The owner of the company even told me I was instrumental is getting our biggest job ever - a $2 million dollar contract! I do not really believe him but the owner of the other company SPECIFICALLY told my boss he was very impressed with me and enjoyed working with me. It did make me feel good, however, I will take the compliment but I don't think it is really all that.

is it rude of me or her?

so if you help somebody when they are a little busy and then they expect you to do that part of THEIR job all the time...what's up with that?

I have a dear friend that I made here at work, but sometimes I think she is just fat and lazy!
she goes home early and takes a lot of days off. And she works slow when she is here and dont ever ask her to do anything extra because she will tell you that she dosn't have time.

maybe the term "dear friend" is my problem here. She is sooo sweet & nice to me that I think that means she is my friend.???

I don't want to do her job anymore. I would rather do ANYTHING than help her right now. She is leaving for a four day weekend and emails me to please be sure and do her filing while she is gone. NO WAY!! skip your vacation and do your own freakin' filing, it is not my job!!

I am probably just really mad because she also complains about how "broke" she and her husband are and they have a big beautiful home and two brand new cars ( if I didn't have to pay for daycare for two kids (twins) I could have two beautiful new cars, too!!)

I could kiss him forever-a re-run from last Valentines Day!

year after year, some things never change and therefore are worth reprinting!
the link above will take you to this site to read about your kissing style or just see below:
Kissing by the Signs
Wondering how to satisfy your lover's ardent feelings? Keep reading for insight into the passionate nature of the Signs and then take the Kissing Style Quiz to discover what your liplocks reveal about you and your romantic destiny!
AriesYour kisses are quick and passionate fits of lustful pleasure that are there and then gone.
TaurusYour kisses linger; they are deliberate, heartfelt and they can go on and on and on…
GeminiYour kisses are interrupted by spasms of giggles, smiles and funny observations.
CancerYour kisses are warm and tender, and you never want to let them go.
LeoYour kisses are wild and uninhibited, biting and clawing; you expect applause for your performance.
VirgoYour kisses are so subtle and tidy, your lover only notices them once you've finished.
LibraYou're too busy worrying about your breath to really get into your kisses.
ScorpioYou skip the kiss and get to straight to … whatever comes next for you.
SagittariusYour kisses are surprising, spontaneous affairs that leave the kissed wanting more.
CapricornYour kisses are intense moments of sublime relief from the stress of your day.
AquariusYour kisses are wet and messy, and you tend to keep your eyes open.
PiscesYour kisses are starry-eyed, amorous and long-lasting.

http://quiz.women.com/games/tests/kissingstyle.htm = the quiz to see what your kissing style reveals!Happy Valentines Day!!

Red!

I love red.
Especially red leather.

Just got myself the red Motorola Razr, kind of a Valentines day gift to myself. I can watch TV on it and everything.

I really thank God every morning and every night for my job

They are laying people off again in the shop. I can tell because the conference room is across the reception area from me and they are filing in and out...
I really do thank God every morning and every night for my job.

countownd to the superbowl!

i bought one square and ended up with 2 as my winning numbers wish me luck!!

i really need a vacation (sadly I already do 11 & 13)

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity .
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write " For Smuggling Diamonds"
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity....... Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile. Its Called ..... therapy

a little humor

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYCd5OrtkKGAEjT2-ow17_rZLd5AVDeD7wsWsCN4en6GdMH5K7pIB6Kly87914PTVxrrSpddHFpBe7fcEDsA7fGHkpWXfBBzAqUwPlgykWtyWqREbjBUJPISneossUdhaKe0KWfg/s1600-h/Beer-yournewbestfriend.jpg

full moon

I will be looking at the moon, but I will be seeing him...

i cant write or call cuz i get no response back and that means i won't see or hear from him for like another year

i love him and he hates me.

ok, so now I am thinking I DONT want any myspace friends...

There is some pretty weird shit out there...

went to GI Joes again looking for kids PE shoes

Same rude treatment from the same rotten kids working there, complained to the manager this time-I was hot!!- and said I had been in twice this week and received the same rude treatment that I left with nothing both times and would probably not be back.
I am really starting to sound like my mother and I don't like that a bit, but dangit!! I also went to Victoria's Secret shopping yesterday and they were so kind and polite and helpful and that is how it should be. I won't be treated with disrespect by stupid kids.

I feel so old

Sometimes I really don't like young people that work in stores. The little girl in this picture is mine, so I love her.
The sun came out this weekend and we wanted to fill up our bike tires and fill up our basket balls and soccer ball. I went to GI Joes to buy a tire pump and they had all they fancy kinds that were very expensive. I just wanted the old fashioned metal kind that has the metal flaps that flip down that you stand on and you plug it in and pump. I asked two young sales people and NEITHER ONE HAD ANY IDEA WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT! They had never seen one. I was so mad. I just want plain ol' simple life. not all this fancy expensive stuff that is out there.
And my 12 year old asked me today, "Mommy, do you want help with your cell phone?"
It makes me depressed.
There is nothing that this millenium has to offer me so far that would actually IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF MY LIFE. Yeah it looks cool and "everyone" has one, but what the heck?? It won't improve my quality of life. I really don't see the point. All I want is the sweet smiles (like in the picture here) and hugs and kisses, tea and biscotti (I am going to learn how to make biscotti soon), and the love of my treasured friends and family (and lover)...to make me smile and consider a day really worthwhile. Amen.
oh yeah, and if I could get one or two friends at myspace...I don't know how to navigate that very well and that makes me feel old, too!

snow

snow

myspace

http://www.myspace.com/lauramawgawrita

I love a holiday!

I love a holiday! I already have about 6 boxes of chocolate cake mix for the little football cupcakes. Then today when I was at Winco on my lunch I saw the brownie mix and decided to make brownies with caramel also! AND then I saw the marshmallow cream and I think that would be good in brownies, too!! I love my own cooking! call me crazy, but there is nothing more fun than getting together with family/friends/ my lover (how i miss him) to cook and eat!!
http://www.buttersbrownies.com/?source=0D130I

Thank God I have more time!

I have so many little football cupcakes to make, we are going to set up an assembly line at home and just knock it out every night from now till it's time!
(I thought it was this weekend, silly me)

blondes really do have more fun

Made it back with my car fixed.

now i am stuck in washington cuz my car broke down.

drink more, think less. cheers.
came up for a basketball game.
we won.
cheers.

boo.

the problem you know, is really that my heart is just set on one man. and he hates me. if anyone else treated me like this i would just about punch them in the nose. so, that means the problem is with me. it is mine i just have to figure out what to do with it. continue to be ignored and rejected all the time...
nobody turns my head like he does.
he is so handsome.
and sexy!
Oh my goodness you can't believe how sexy he is and how much he turns me on.
there are other handsome men out there, but not in the same way that he is handsome. there is plenty of sex out there to be had, but why waste my time when his is the body i really want to taste and feel and be touched by. could i just freakin' get him out of my mind and move on?? I have tried, and tried and tried. For FOUR LONG years I have tried. all the others bore me bore me bore me. this one, he and i click on a level that i don't click with others...not yet anyway...what is a girl to do?get drunk and fuck his brains out that's what!!
actually i could totally skip the booze it would be nice to make love to him sober for once.
Boo.
oh yeah...i am out of town this weekend so why does it all freakin' matter i am not available anyway....
note to self: think less. drink more. cheers.

all he ever does is hate me.

I am so happy!

I went to the doctor!! I haven't been in a looong time! It felt so good to take care of myself but I gotta tell you, somethings have really changed...
I got an EKG and they are so polite and politically correct now that: 1. they asked please would I lift my own breast up so they could attach the electric things. They used to just sort of shove and push and it was really dehumanizing. (sp?)
(I got an EKG because my heart was hurting and since I have had heart medications, conditions/sugery in the past it kind of makes me nervous)
2. They were very polite to me and said I was very nice and that I did a good job! (where's my gold star sticker?) They were impressed that I had all my childrens ss#'s and knew my ex husbands home address. 3. I did not have to make a copay at the time of service, they will bill me!! I loved this part because I have no money. I used to feel like such low life scum to need to go to the doctor but not have the copay-they kind of make you feel like a loser and then attach an extra charge for "late fee" if they have to bill you. What's the point of going in an attempt to take care of yourself if all you feel is BAD? 4. I have a follow up appointment for a PAP and mamogram. I am actually looking forward to this! It is just so empowering to feel like I am doing the right thing FOR ME. woah. I only do the "right things" for my children, my mom, my brother, the teachers, my employer, my co-workers, NEVER ME. this is so cool. 5.

?

It's ok to look...Dr. Phil said so

This will be my year.
But have you ever searched match.com for single men between 35-45??? ugly. scary. freaky. gross. And they all think they are so hot. Like oh yeah mama, come and get me! NOT.

I read a research study once that interviewed 1000 not so attractive men and 1000 beautiful women. The men, even though unattractive at first glance described themselves as having good features such as big biceps, sparkling blue eyes, great shape VS. the women who said things like my eyes are too close together, my legs are too long, etc.
I really think we all should have stayed on the island of Lesbos.
NO I don't mean that, I really like men, I always sound like I am sexually confused. I don't know.
Maybe girls are more my scene. Women are so beautiful and much more interesting to look at. More interesting to talk to. There are so few men that are attractive. Maybe I am picky, but there just isn't much to see in the way of men out there. Of course they all want to be my "friend" and they take great care of me giving me rides and fixing my car...poop they just don't turn me on. They loan me their cars, they loan/give me money. They fix my car for free and pay for the parts that are needed to fix it.

he was only 26. ONLY 26!!

145%

My income has increased 45% since I started with this company in Aug of 2005. (18 months)
since my divorce/separation in January of 2003 (?) my income has increased 229%. (24 months?) Obviously I am not a math major.
I can take care of myself. I hated him so much but was so afraid to leave him because I did think I could make it on my own with four small children. Well I did and I am freakin' happy about it all!