Forget everything else I ever said!! This is what I really want for Christmas!!

All the men are talking about the diamonds and new carpet their wife's are getting for Christmas. Well they are only talking about it because I like to ask them. I like to think about how happy they are with their nice presents.

What I want for Christmas

ScorpioIf you were thinking of springing a gift card on a Scorpion this year, think again! The Scorpio thrives on emotion -- on the fuel of his own emotions, the emotions of others toward him and the drive to have his emotions understood. Your gift should reflect your feelings for and intimate knowledge of this very sensitive personality. Consider his passions, his talents, his sense of humor and devise a gift that can't be interpreted generically. If you don't know your Scorpio all that well yet, present your gift in a way that leaves no doubt that he is important to you. Perhaps a surprise unveiling is in order or a special meeting at a romantic spot -- maybe even the place where you first met. And because Scorpio can become so preoccupied with their tumultuous emotions, a tasteful blank book or journal might be just what he needs to channel that energy. Remember that Scorpio is the most sensual of the signs; while a thoughtful present can go a long way toward winning his heart, your passion for him is a gift that won't go unappreciated.

Will I really miss these little buggers when they grow up and move out?

Yes of course I will, that is why it makes me so mad at myself that I hate being a mom ALL THE TIME.
For example: last night I missed a really great football party that was being sponsored by one of our vendors at a really neat new club in town, all expenses paid, because my son got hurt at daycare...how selfish of me. Talk about feeling a lot of guilt for being mad that I have to take care of him instead of earting free food and drinking free beer with a bunch of really cool people!

And tonight there is another get together, free for me!, and I have to leave them at dacyare late...

Will I really miss these little buggers when they grow up and move out? Yes. Yes. Yes. And I will be old and alone and sad.

My littlest princess last night came up to me with a glass of water and said, "Mama!! Listen to me swallow!" She thought that was about the coolest thing ever, and it made me smile deep into my heart to see her joy discovering her little world. I am really going to miss these little buggers. I just wish I could find a way to enjoy them more before they grow up and move away...

the best time of the year? Bahumbug!

this article is good, too: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/stress/MH00030

My relationships are in the shitter. I am a lousy mom most of the time, cranky, depressed, tired. I am no fun at all to be around. I isolate myself.

Having the kids in sports really helped to get me out of the house and around other adults. I enjoyed the activity. Right now the weather freakin' sucks. My job is not challenging, it is very boring, I don't feel uselful at all. Nearly everyone has been fired.
I should be thankful I have a job, a nice place to live, a car that is paid for...healthy family, the kids get good grades and don't get into any trouble. I have everything I have ever wanted (except to be worshipped and adored like a godess!) but why do I feel like crying all the time? Am I an ungrateful slob?

our favorite place to meet and our first kiss

August 20, 2004

where we met

May 7, 2003.
From the very first time I saw him, I thought he was the most handsome man in the world.
This had to be fate, there is no other way we would have ever met.
I was able to watch him every day for eight months, close up.
(updated 5/9/2018- the link has changed since the restaurant shut down, but it was a McMennamins on Hall Blvd in Beaverton)

Did I mention my car has been broke down for nearly a week?

I hate this.

Parties, parties, parties!

The year end celebration is in the works! We are having a Fiesta!

I keep pretty busy running parties. It is fun, but it's not much time to eat, visit or relax. I have been known to fit in lots of dancing tho!! Every time we get a new employee they say, "You're the one that throws the great parties!" It makes me feel good.

The most handsome man in the world

I miss my sweetie.
I wish I had a picture of him to show you.
He is gorgeous! Tall, soft curly brown hair, a beautiful smile. He is such a masculine man, always stands out in a crowd. He oozes sex appeal! People always want to be around him.
Men want to be just like him.
Women just want to be near him.
C arefully
H e
R eaches
I nto my
S oul

I really like this picture

In fact, I think it turned out so well, that I made an 8x10 copy and hung it inside a 2" wide white matt with a very, very thin black frame. It looks awesome!
I never, ever, ever like pictures of myself. But this dosn't look like me so much that it turned out GREAT!

my party. Tavern Rock Creek 185th. The gang all knows, I think they are planning a secret.

http://www.mapquest.com/directions/main.adp?go=1&do=nw&rmm=1&un=m&cl=EN&qq=1ADqpk24ofBRq4TEzHoG8BPwpoZ95hs7krN%252fqBGgSqpZSBEQTN0LIFjCxyjwrQLGJr8%252fyrIyaAtGMDNlTexuUSGM7XGvSbZOvTQ%252b2Ef0OvFOZz%252fhZuTat5eoD6%252fBmJKm%252bY0kpbBd3zRr%252fVPin2LeLaRWg1oq9abRfuOF8LLBAXV51679%252fYAF7nJIRxoulrZdTT5y7wzSSknGhTOCB%252b5%252bObYJgk6UOVzB4NZ1WwrlQYeddvKVQqiWpv%252by02yrj4p0uGBDeciAGh9NRj6fm4QLlwujmbEYS8nOsLTPk6KRu5UZadBREuq8ZNb7dBGs8%252fmGTYVtF0SujbQn%252fUr5sWLiBBMyK0GzInE66p8EPs%252fgBm4%253d&ct=NA&rsres=1&1y=US&1ffi=&1l=&1g=&1pl=&1v=&1n=&1pn=&1a=4860+nw+shute+road&1c=Hillsboro&1s=or&1z=97124&panelbtn=1&2y=US&2ffi=&2l=QpWuzNbS8GyAcrb3W%252fVlQw%253d%253d&2g=Q%252bO2NUW0NL2vv9DweTOZ0w%253d%253d&2pl=&2v=STREET&2n=&2pn=&2a=%5B9902-9999%5D+Nw+Old+Cornelius+Pass+Rd&2c=Hillsboro&2s=OR&2z=97124

I was having a pretty good day until

I was having a pretty good day until
Some lane-brain had to mention that I share a birthday with Charles Manson...
I spent my entire life NOT KNOWING THIS!!!!

it was hard enough having another birthday:
I had come to terms with the fact that I am a little bit over 25, and not so young anymore. I will age gracefully, I don't need to fight it like I used to think. It really is better in a lot of ways. See how I can talk myself into these things? But Charlie Manson? It dosn't MEAN anything, of course, right?
I never read the books, or watched the TV shows, I tried to watch the interview with Gerlado Rivera a few yrs back, but the guy FREAKS ME OUT!

Now, Neil Young and I share a birthday, we may celebrate separately this year. It seems like just yesterday I wrote those exact words on my birthday last year...where does the time go, really?

I am looking forward to a really nice weekend with a special friend. Well not the whole weekend, just a little bit of it.

bored bored bored

today I feel like I have the most boring life ever-not even ONE friend on MySpace.com

oh!
mine is landislaura@yahoo.com

Oupa!

What a fun place to go!
The food was fantastic! The atmosphere was a kick off your shoes, get up and dance and have the best time of your life! We couldn't help but clap to the Greek beat of the music as soon as we walked in the door!! And the signing and dancing and belly dancers were to die for! They even have plate throwing! And they teach you some traditional Greek dancing. Highly recommended for food and fun!
Oh yeah, and the women there think I have great breasts, no this is not a lesbian bar. I come walking out of the bathroom and these ladies are talking about my shirt-which is a purple halter with silver glitter strings in between the bosoms (no bra!) and they not only love my shirt but agree I have great boobs! This is a compliment because of course guys are going to stare so that dosn't mean shit, but when women are breathless...that makes me feel GOOD! And one of the ladies I was actually out with, she did get a little friendly with me later, but I think she was just really drunk.
ALSO! I never mentioned that at my class reunion I got voted best breasts.

But, thinking of my breasts makes me think of the best place in the world, my truly most favorite place to be...with a tall dark handsome man on his patio bbq'ing...he is such a freakin' hot hunk of a man!! I adore him!

When I was pregnant at 33 with twins and thought 40 was old

I used to say that I would rather be pregnant with twins (my 4th & 5th children) than turn 40. I thought 40 was really old and that pretty much nothing in the world could be worse that being 40!!

I turn 40 next month.
But at least I am not pregnant.
As soon as those little babies were born, I had THAT part of my life put behind me!

Now I just need to find some of my feeble old friends and if we can stay awake late enough, maybe we can hobble down to the nearest swinging joint and cut a rug!

I am so amazed that this beautiful child is mine!

Just another snap-shot from the party at The Pittock Mansion.

Homecoming was so fun!

I did not hit this deer, I just ran over it's little ears...
We circled back around a couple of times to get a picture, because the twins were asleep and we KNEW they would want to see it. We had nearly hit a herd of elk earlier in the evening. We did see another car later down the road that had hit an elk. And we missed hitting some deer a few other times.
My 12 yr old says to me, "we are sooo poor, if this is what we do on Fri nights after homecoming."
My daughter was one of the princesses.
I was so proud of her!
Don't touch my hair!

how safe is your neighborhood? Search here

and also search here:

http://www.criminalcheck.com/

"If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world, and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day."
- E. B. White

much to my chagrin

I have given up on love, fortunately there is still SEX!http://www.sexualastrology.com/
http://www.hotscopes.com/Compatibility/Cancer_Scorpio/
http://www.miltonblack.com.au/compatibility/scorpio/cancer.htm
I have been able to remove that silly Libra, although some of my best friends are Libra, my heart-much to my chagrin-belongs elsewhere...
http://www.myjellybean.com/soulmate/scorpiocancer.html

The first party I threw $15,000

This is Pumpkin Ridge Golf Course, where we held our year end company party last Dec. This was an awesome party, too. It was all decorated with poinsettieas and lights, and we had a band and good food-our parties are all pretty much the same. It is an honor to be able to plan them. I will look for more pictures...

Here's $10,000-throw a party!

pictures from our Company picnic, this is the second party I planned. We danced to Loyd Jones-what a hot band! My new favorite.
We had yummy food, a clown and games and prizes for the children, a slide show, the fun went on and on.
I know these are just a pics of me and the mansion, I have to get more on here. It was a wonderful night and everyone had a great time!

class reunion tonight, pictures next week!

You're gonna make it after all

I just realized this morning, the magnitude of my job.
I am an executive in the accounting department of an international architectural firm.
cool.
I wear pretty clothes and go to meetings and lunches on the corporate account.
cool.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, right?

Sometimes, most of the times, I wonder if I only like this new guy because he reminds me so freakin' much of the last guy i was so crazy about.
this guy looks and acts so much like him. Very tall, long legs, soft brown hair, light brown skin, very funny and smart and kind....I hate it.
I havn't seen that last guy in I dont know how long but why in the hell do I still think about him?!!!! And miss him? And want to have sex with him? Mostly I think it's because his dick was so huge and hard and SIZE REALLY DOES MATTER.
Is it wrong to be with someone only because they make you think you are with that other someone, I can pretend I am with the one I really like????
How do I separate the two?
It's not like I am even "with" this new guy. We just work together. So far.

What was on TV the week you were born?

For months now I have been feeling like Mary Tyler Moore in that TV show she made long ago. The one between the black & white one with Dick VanDyke and the third series she did. I feel like throwing my hat in the air and dancing in the streets!
Must be in my blood because the show"That Girl" was on TV the week I was born! Nov 12, 1966.
My dream has been to be treated like the passionate woman that I truly am! Keeps a smile on my face all day!

points

The new guy at work earned all his points back.
I asked him if he wanted to buy some girlscout cookies, and he did. And then he went to the other offices to get them to buy some, too. He is so cute. Really tall, brown hair, hazel eyes, really BIG hands and feet. I don't care what anyone else says, and I am too old to be polite about it, but size REALLY does matter!! :)

I am a freak, no matter what you say

This is so weird
I just re-read my little diary book, over a year after I had written in it. And to be honest my feelings haven’t changed.
This is unfortunate.
This is crazy.
I haven’t spoken to that man in over 6 months, longer maybe.
I wrote in my journal how he had had me over to his place and told me “this is the last time”. How I left before anything intimate happened. How I cried and cried on the way home. “How could he do this to me?” I screamed in wretched pan. Tears streaming down my face.
But now, time has gone on. The sun managed to keep rising every day. I remembered to breathe.
And I am shocked to find, even a year, two years later, three years that I still feel the same.

Once in a while.

I think about him often
I dream of him at night
I ache for him
At times
The same old songs make me feel the same old way.
It hurts.

The kids have grown and flourished.
My job is going awesome!
The new apartment is nice. Very plain – no frills. Almost affordable. Very close to work. I was driving an hour every morning and every night. Paying $2.25 to wash and dry one load of laundry-not to mention the hauling of all that laundry. Gas was up to unbelievable heights! $2.25 a gallon or more I think it reached.

There are some nice men at work. They are so nice to me. One I like, I can tell he likes me. But he is engaged. He seems to be having doubts about getting married. He is very cute and smart. He re minds me of my uncle.

And this new guy. A real fox and so very very nice and professional.

I don’t think I have prayed enough for him to be out of my heart.
I don’t think I have prayed enough for someone new.

But #$% is so nice. And so cute. And he lives so close. And he is so engaged.
Maybe.
#$%^&
He has the best kisses. And best other stuff!!
Damnit!
I want out of this cycle.

I think of you so often
You keep dropping by my mind
at the strangest times
and in the strangest places
how nice it is
to be constantly reminded of you.

Do you think of me
Like I think of you?
Do I burn inside of you
Like you burn inside of me?
I can see the tilt of your head when you listen
And the smile in your eyes when we talk
The colors of your hair
I can feel the warmth of your hand on mine
The heat that surges through my veins when you look at me
Stand close to me
When will this sweet tender pain STOP?
Will the longing ever end?
I have prayed
Begged
Cried
For mercy.

Do I do this to myself? Have you cast a spell on me?
It’s the curl of your hair and my cheek against yours, your neck that cries out to my lips. My hand in yours, your breath in my ear
So warm
So perfect

Its when nothing else matters
How everything disappears when you walk into a room
Every time it happens that way
The very first time I saw your handsome face
And every time since. I remember exactly the very first time I ever saw you.

I remember the very last time.

And all the times in between.

How mad you got when I drew a heart around our initials on your windshield.

The many beers I’d drank that night that made me think it was cute.

You never wrote

called

sent flowers

Or ever came to see me.


I have guys that call me constantly that I don't really care about and I treat them the sameway. i am rude, i ignore them. i stand them up on dates and don't apologize. I just don't really care. Like this guy and me. he just wasn't that into me.