Forget everything else I ever said!! This is what I really want for Christmas!!

All the men are talking about the diamonds and new carpet their wife's are getting for Christmas. Well they are only talking about it because I like to ask them. I like to think about how happy they are with their nice presents.

What I want for Christmas

ScorpioIf you were thinking of springing a gift card on a Scorpion this year, think again! The Scorpio thrives on emotion -- on the fuel of his own emotions, the emotions of others toward him and the drive to have his emotions understood. Your gift should reflect your feelings for and intimate knowledge of this very sensitive personality. Consider his passions, his talents, his sense of humor and devise a gift that can't be interpreted generically. If you don't know your Scorpio all that well yet, present your gift in a way that leaves no doubt that he is important to you. Perhaps a surprise unveiling is in order or a special meeting at a romantic spot -- maybe even the place where you first met. And because Scorpio can become so preoccupied with their tumultuous emotions, a tasteful blank book or journal might be just what he needs to channel that energy. Remember that Scorpio is the most sensual of the signs; while a thoughtful present can go a long way toward winning his heart, your passion for him is a gift that won't go unappreciated.

Will I really miss these little buggers when they grow up and move out?

Yes of course I will, that is why it makes me so mad at myself that I hate being a mom ALL THE TIME.
For example: last night I missed a really great football party that was being sponsored by one of our vendors at a really neat new club in town, all expenses paid, because my son got hurt at daycare...how selfish of me. Talk about feeling a lot of guilt for being mad that I have to take care of him instead of earting free food and drinking free beer with a bunch of really cool people!

And tonight there is another get together, free for me!, and I have to leave them at dacyare late...

Will I really miss these little buggers when they grow up and move out? Yes. Yes. Yes. And I will be old and alone and sad.

My littlest princess last night came up to me with a glass of water and said, "Mama!! Listen to me swallow!" She thought that was about the coolest thing ever, and it made me smile deep into my heart to see her joy discovering her little world. I am really going to miss these little buggers. I just wish I could find a way to enjoy them more before they grow up and move away...

the best time of the year? Bahumbug!

this article is good, too: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/stress/MH00030

My relationships are in the shitter. I am a lousy mom most of the time, cranky, depressed, tired. I am no fun at all to be around. I isolate myself.

Having the kids in sports really helped to get me out of the house and around other adults. I enjoyed the activity. Right now the weather freakin' sucks. My job is not challenging, it is very boring, I don't feel uselful at all. Nearly everyone has been fired.
I should be thankful I have a job, a nice place to live, a car that is paid for...healthy family, the kids get good grades and don't get into any trouble. I have everything I have ever wanted (except to be worshipped and adored like a godess!) but why do I feel like crying all the time? Am I an ungrateful slob?

our favorite place to meet and our first kiss

August 20, 2004

where we met

May 7, 2003.
From the very first time I saw him, I thought he was the most handsome man in the world.
This had to be fate, there is no other way we would have ever met.
I was able to watch him every day for eight months, close up.
(updated 5/9/2018- the link has changed since the restaurant shut down, but it was a McMennamins on Hall Blvd in Beaverton)