The downward spiral of poverty

I recently found out that I had made it to the top of a waiting list, over 2 years, for low income housing. I have to move across town though, and that would be sad. Although I have no friends to speak of at my apartment complex as they are all drug addicts, it would mean the kids would have to change schools again and I know that is hard for them. It does have more bedrooms, a washer and dryer and the rent would be less. Hauling and paying for laundry for five people sucks! We drove over to look at it, but the landlady was called away to a meeting so we only saw the outside. We were able to peek in the windows and it is very, very small!! The neighborhood did not look much safer than this one, especially since the police were casing the joint when we arrived. I asked them what they were doing and they said, "Looking for someone." Great! !The five of us are already constantly tripping over each other with two bedrooms and one bathroom. I have always hated it here. After my divorce 3 1/2 years ago, (still not getting child support) this two bedroom apartment was the only one that would allow five people in a two bedroom, most places would only allow four people. And as the rent was low, it was all I could "afford" anyway. So during the process of lots of paperwork to get into the new place, they do an income verification check. I am "over income" to be eligible. I was raised never to discuss income with strangers, but let me tell you I don't make a whole lot!! So I tell her that I have been working temp jobs and get unemployment in between. She tells me, "If you are working, you make too much money. If you are getting unemployment or making only $9-$10.00 per hour, then you are eligible." I haven't fucking busted my hump working & getting a better education to fall further behind financially. This next school year is the year I have been waiting for: My twins will be in daycare!!! My daycare has gone from $1600 month for four kids; to $1200 month for three kids; and if I can just get through this summer I will have only two kids in daycare after school!!! It might be under $500 a month. Don't think I always pay this bill either, I am always way behind and just give them enough till my tax return comes in every year.
Also, I would have to buy out of my lease here which would cost me a bunch of money and effect my credit and since someday, someway I want to buy a home again that would not be a nice thing on my already shaky credit history. So do I stay poor? Working a job that I am way overqualified for for the finanical security of paying less rent every month and knowing we will always have clean clothes?? I would really like some security somewhere in my life! It's like having the weight of the world on my shoulders being the sole support of 5 people. Do I go out on this limb of always reaching for better jobs and more education (which is what I have been doing and don't want to throw that all away) and risk not getting that job soon enough and having to keep borrowing money from my mom to pay the rent everyb month??? There is so much to consider and I am very mad! And if I move over there, work a dumb low paying job, and start to get child support then I have to move again cuz I will be OVER INCOME!! How much do they think is too much to support five people??? I have to make less than $22,000 a year.

Get your own! They're free!!

Nothing gets me excited more (okay, maybe one thing) than having fun for free! Especially if it's something I can take my kids to. My right rear tire that has been leaking air slowly. It is now going flat every 24 hrs so I decide I better take the kids with me after I pick them up from school, to Les Schwab and get it checked. I do not normally take my kids ANYWHERE. It's just too much work. But this tire is getting worse and I am tired of digging for quarters to put in the air machines. So even though I thought it was going to be a real drag to take them I knew I had to get this tire fixed. Well, I had forgotten that they have free popcorn!! The have added free hot chocolate!! And when the little beggars tried to buffalo me into giving them change for the pop and candy machines, I reminded them that Les Schwabb always has a free waterfountain!! And my six year old son, who has more energy than the rest of us put together, is so happy and totally goes crazy looking at all the tires and wheels! I even got watch most of Oprah! The tire had a nail in it and they fixed it from the inside, "Guaranteed to last, and on us!" FREE!!! When I went to get in my car there was even a copy of the daily newspaper on the seat. FREE!!!
It was a really great day. Oh wait, except for the part when I ran out of gas leaving to go pick up the kids from school. Lyukcily I was in my driveway so I grabbed my gas can and asked the landlord to take me to the gas station, but instead they filled the gas can with some gas they keep in the shop for the mower. FREE!!!

In your lifetime have you...

The following all begin with 'In your lifetime, have you....'
1. ...ridden on a rollercoaster? Yes at county fairs, I dare myself to go on the scariest ones, and make my kids hold my hand!
2. ...performed (in any area of the arts) onstage? Yes, from the age of 5 till 18 I was in dance and local theatre.
3. ...planted a garden? I Love gardening!!! Flowers, vegetables, & herbs.
4. ...ever had to reformat your hard drive due to a virus/spyware? Yes, a few times!
5. ...written a book? A poem? A song? I have written lots of poems, some songs about/for my kids, and I have started the book and definately will finish it someday!
6. ...sang karaoke?Once. Never, ever again.
7. ...been interviewed by a local tv station/newspaper?Yes, from crime victim to pageant contestant.
8. ...witnessed a tornado/earthquake/hurricane first-hand?No, thank God.
9. ...participated in a photo scavenger hunt?Can't say that I have.
10. ...traveled to another country? Never, not yet anyway!

One Word Meme

What is the one word you would use to describe your appearance? frazzled
Favorite body part? breasts
Least favorite body part? stomache
Most often complimented on? smile
Most often criticized for? nothing - I only hang around nice people
Your romantic relationship? hot
Your relationship to your parents? mom-perfect. dad-nonexistent
Your feelings about parenting? I do more before 5 am than most people do all day
Your hobbies? walking, reading, trying to learn to play the guitar, spending time with people I like/love
Your favorite personality type for a friend? make me laugh
Favorite personality type for a spouse or lover? passionate
Favorite type of movie? a good "who dunit? "
Favorite cuisine? mexican
Favorite treat? big cold bottle of water
favorite gift? Brunn coffee maker
Most sensitive “unusual” erogenous zone? back of knees or toes
Favorite pet? black lab
Subject of blogging post that got the most hits?
Feelings about memes? quick and dirty

My Mazaratti does 185

The took my license so now I can't drive.
They say I'm crazy, but I have a good time
Life's been good to me so far...

How does the rest go?

What happened on your birthday?

What happened on your birthday??
Borrowed from Blu

http://www.paulsadowski.com/birthday.asp

The last supper

Last night was one of the best nights of my life. I know the most wonderful man in the world. He feeds me. And he's a hottie, too! There is no one nicer. I am moving and part of me was wondering, no, deeply sad that if we cannot get together very often when I just live down the street, how will I ever see him if I move across town?? How can I be so happy to see someone and so very sad at the same time. I was afraid it would be the last supper, but this morning I am a little more hopeful. Let me tell you about his awesome dinner:
He sautee'd mushrooms and onions in half and half. Now that is oral gratification. I am not sure I ever tasted anything so delicious. These were poured on perfectly bbq'ed T-bone steaks. There is only one way to eat a steak and that is cooked six minutes on each side. Slightly pink in the middle. I think I have only had two perfect steaks in my life and this was one and I dont remember where the last one was so it doesn't count. There was also corn on the cob cooked on the bbq, garlic bread, salad, I brought a vegie tray, we had gin and tonics and margarita's with very good tequila!! I get to watch him cook and try to stay out of the way and that is really the best part of the show. Watching someone make you perfect meal is nearly spititual for me. It is partof the meal and wouldnt taste quite as good without all the goings on to prepare. Tasting this, running around checking the temp on the bbq, stirring, mixing drinks in between, getting everything just perfect and beautifully set on the table. Of course there were candles and I also got a beautiful red rose and sweet mothers day card. It seems like I am forgtting something but there was so much!! When trying to decide what to have for dinner he said "rain or shine, we will bbq!:" Which is like saying we dont care what othe sucky things might be going on in ourlives or what the weather is doing we will have a good time, mostly just cuz we got to be together. I wish I had pictures!! he always takes pictures of everything and I guess it slipped our minds. OH!! and he made bread for me to take home. He has done this in the past and it is so good and my kids love it. (they also love the wings he has sent home, too) So I was thinking that I wanted to ask him to make some bread for me this time, too, but felt that was just too much - he's working like two jobs and all this other stuff. I was so happy to have this home made bread - what on earth is better than that??

moving.

Hi sweetie!!
Missed having drinks and talking to you in person last night, but the kids show really was great!! They only had the 5th graders performing. Lindsey is in 5th grade. And there was not a lot of people there like I thought there would be and parking was a breeze. I did not lose it till the very end when I had to find the kids and round them all up for the ride home. Usually those performances are a nightmare cuz it’s all the grades, you have to sit through this long show, the parking and traffic suck. For me it is nightmarish and my heart wants to explode. I seriously considered asking Lindsey to skip it, totally for my own selfish reasons, but am glad I did not, these things are really important to the kids.

What are you guys doing this weekend? Lindsey’s dad is coming to visit. He has been coming to see her more and more, and I am glad. He actually signed away his rights to her so my last husband could adopt her in 1996. He has this huge catholic family, 9 siblings (he is also a twin), and she has a million cousins and they all love her so it is a good thing. Of course I am still seeing Chris sat night. Other than that it’s laundry and grocery shopping and oh my god!!! It looks like I am moving!!!! It is a good and a bad thing. We can talk about it more when I see you which I hope will be soon!!

Xoxo
Laura

Condoms

I found two condoms in an inner zip pocket of my purse today!! That is so hot. I felt really sexy. I have no idea how long they have been there.

sidebar:
I also found one condom in my 14 yr old daughters purse this weekend.

That is like that joke:
what is worse than bitting into an apple with a worm in it?
Bitting into an apple with half of a worm in it.

I want patience and I want it right now!

stress.
check your level here:
http://www.markhenri.com/health/stress.html

my favorite part of the test: where it states that divorce can LOWER a person's stress level. it's an old test i'll probably delete it later anyway.

let's stir things up

Maybe I will switch to a blog that is politically scathing. I am tired of a boring blog. I want to stir up some discussion. I like to hear what other people think and where in the hell did they get an idea like that!!

Let's put Clinton back in Whitehouse? No-too broad of a topic.

Broad? It dosn't matter if the president cheats on his wife, his values do not effect his ablility to run the country.

Kennedy cheated on Jackie.
My thought on that: he did not have enough time in office to really fuck up, everyone liked him cuz he was "cute", somebody shot him.

Old news!! I need to search for something new and fresh!!!

I am really glad nobody reads my blog....