Wednesday, May 30, 2007
all i do is cry
big interview tomorrow for the job i really want, but i am so beaten down right now that i just don't know how i am going to get up the job glam facade to go into that interview and convince them to give ME that job.
Friday, May 25, 2007
my start date at the new job was supposed to be May 14
my start date at the new job was supposed to be May 14.
It is now May 25 and the interview was postponed yet ANOHTER two weeks.
It is now May 25 and the interview was postponed yet ANOHTER two weeks.
Friday, May 18, 2007
hmph! boo. i tried really hard to not make it a cancer, but i was also very honest. now you take the test.
| Your True Love Is a Cancer |
 Why you'll love a Cancer: Cancer's loyal and sincere heart makes your own sensitive heart melt. Caring and devoted, a Cancer will take the lead in pursuing you - and not give up! Why a Cancer will love you: You're laid back enough to deal with Cancer's little mood swings and freak-outs. A fellow homebody, you know how make Cancer comfortable and at home with you. |
don't know who said this, but i like it!
The difficult we do immeditately; the impossible takes a little longer.
my interview was postponed again!
the interview will be sometime next week they say now. The only reason I want that job is because it pays better and has benefits! ok, I should say "the only reason" because IT IS A GOOD REASON! It's not that I am into banking - not any more into it than I was into aluminum railing or am into marble counter tops.
the kids had health benefits the last four months i was at this last job. now we are back to nothing. where i am has no benefits. i keep having to start over. and over. and over.
Oh! speaking of starting over, i just started my "own" business. it is a home based business i hooked up through with a friend. send me your mailing address and i will mail you the info. it is really cool. i just need a name for my business. maybe you can help me think of one.
back to work issues: this really sucks. i am thinking of sending my son to live with his dad and just the girls and i getting a one bedroom apt. i am always afraid to make major life decisions, like moving, because you never know what is going to happen. if i keep the job i am at i will have to pay less rent. if i get the better job i can stay where i am. in the meantime, i still have to pay rent somewhere!!
poop.
and then there is still hanging over my head the fact that i have that really cool bbq that i can't use. if i keep this job i will never be able to afford to buy the gas can. if i get the new job, i will probably be able to afford the gas can. so do i keep the dang thing or not???
the kids had health benefits the last four months i was at this last job. now we are back to nothing. where i am has no benefits. i keep having to start over. and over. and over.
Oh! speaking of starting over, i just started my "own" business. it is a home based business i hooked up through with a friend. send me your mailing address and i will mail you the info. it is really cool. i just need a name for my business. maybe you can help me think of one.
back to work issues: this really sucks. i am thinking of sending my son to live with his dad and just the girls and i getting a one bedroom apt. i am always afraid to make major life decisions, like moving, because you never know what is going to happen. if i keep the job i am at i will have to pay less rent. if i get the better job i can stay where i am. in the meantime, i still have to pay rent somewhere!!
poop.
and then there is still hanging over my head the fact that i have that really cool bbq that i can't use. if i keep this job i will never be able to afford to buy the gas can. if i get the new job, i will probably be able to afford the gas can. so do i keep the dang thing or not???
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
i will never make as much money as i did at my last job
i have set myself up for failure. there are no jobs, except the one in wilsonville which keeps putting me off for that third interview, that pay as good as my last job.
i have a very nice apartment which i wont be able to keep, the kids will probably have to change schools yet again. I really hate that part. I grew up in the same house in the same school, with the same kids my whole life. I really value that stability, i only wish i could provide the same for my kids. i really really really am not sure that i like this job. i am just so sad right now. there is nothing happy. it's all work, cook, clean. then my dang mom - dont get me started on THAT subject. she is so shallow sometimes. she tells me how wonderful her life is and how happy she is and how she has everything she wants...and i can barely keep food on the table. why would she talk like that to me? she is just shallow and unfeeling. i tell her i am miserable and that all i ever do is work and take care of kids...
i have a very nice apartment which i wont be able to keep, the kids will probably have to change schools yet again. I really hate that part. I grew up in the same house in the same school, with the same kids my whole life. I really value that stability, i only wish i could provide the same for my kids. i really really really am not sure that i like this job. i am just so sad right now. there is nothing happy. it's all work, cook, clean. then my dang mom - dont get me started on THAT subject. she is so shallow sometimes. she tells me how wonderful her life is and how happy she is and how she has everything she wants...and i can barely keep food on the table. why would she talk like that to me? she is just shallow and unfeeling. i tell her i am miserable and that all i ever do is work and take care of kids...
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
what really bums me out the most
What bums me out the most isn't the fact that I am not even sure where I will be working, (even tho I am working, I have some tough decisions about which job to take), or where I will be living (because where I will be working/how much I will be making determines if I can keep my current apartment or if I will have to downsize) but what really bothers me is the fact that I have this great new - free- barbeque but I can't afford the freakin' gas tank to make the thing actually work. That is what bums me out. NOT EVEN the fact that because I had to change jobs and have to drive so far now that my daycare is going up $800 a month. Ok that bums me out a lot. And the price of gas bums me out.
Not even the fact that I am leaving work right now and have to sit in a hot car, in the hot sun (that part makes me happy) with my heater running to help keep the engine cool because my car wants to overheat and I may sit on the free way for up to an hour and a half if traffic is bad.
All that dosn't bum me out as much as not being able to bbq. Have a good evening. ")
Not even the fact that I am leaving work right now and have to sit in a hot car, in the hot sun (that part makes me happy) with my heater running to help keep the engine cool because my car wants to overheat and I may sit on the free way for up to an hour and a half if traffic is bad.
All that dosn't bum me out as much as not being able to bbq. Have a good evening. ")
She moves in mysterious ways
She moves in mysterious ways. God that is:
So I am "stuck" waiting for this other "better" job final job interview to take place. It will be my third interview and they keep putting me off. The job is pretty good, same pay as I left my last job, much better benefits! and bonuses. The job is in the opposite driving direction as this one. Right now, I am about 45 minute commute NE of my home (I bring this up because I had been commuting 8 minutes to work at my previous job). This other job I am considering is South of my home about - actually I am not sure how many miles but I drove down there last week to see how long it would take it is in Wilsonville. It's not so much the time that will bother me but the price of gas - I am not alone there. And my car has been threatening to overheat and if the car dies I am screwed because it will not get fixed, it will just sit until the tags expire and get towed away like my last one...
God moves in mysterious ways: at my last job, the only way to increase my income was to go back to college - and I was all set to do just that. Then they laid me off. (with many many others). So now I have an opportunity to learn a lot about the marble business and become an estimator/project manager/office manager, etc. My income will increase just by on the job training and commissions. That is pretty cool. Same with the job in Wilsonville, although it is at a bank. On the job training, they send you to "banking school" and your income increases. It's like God knew that even though I loved loved loved my last job, that because I was totally committed to staying with that company-that He would have to take that job away from me to get me in a better place financially. Does that make sense?
So I am "stuck" waiting for this other "better" job final job interview to take place. It will be my third interview and they keep putting me off. The job is pretty good, same pay as I left my last job, much better benefits! and bonuses. The job is in the opposite driving direction as this one. Right now, I am about 45 minute commute NE of my home (I bring this up because I had been commuting 8 minutes to work at my previous job). This other job I am considering is South of my home about - actually I am not sure how many miles but I drove down there last week to see how long it would take it is in Wilsonville. It's not so much the time that will bother me but the price of gas - I am not alone there. And my car has been threatening to overheat and if the car dies I am screwed because it will not get fixed, it will just sit until the tags expire and get towed away like my last one...
God moves in mysterious ways: at my last job, the only way to increase my income was to go back to college - and I was all set to do just that. Then they laid me off. (with many many others). So now I have an opportunity to learn a lot about the marble business and become an estimator/project manager/office manager, etc. My income will increase just by on the job training and commissions. That is pretty cool. Same with the job in Wilsonville, although it is at a bank. On the job training, they send you to "banking school" and your income increases. It's like God knew that even though I loved loved loved my last job, that because I was totally committed to staying with that company-that He would have to take that job away from me to get me in a better place financially. Does that make sense?
Monday, May 07, 2007
back on the chain gang
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