my little baby girl again!

I am just so proud of her! She is a star basketball player and is on honor roll!

I fixed my own car!

And I am so tired, I can't go into all the details right now, but I am so excited!! It was the same problem as last time and this time I didn't have to pay a mechanic!! That is what i am most excited about!!

I finally finished watching "Stranger Than Fiction"

I finally finished watching "Stranger Than Fiction"
What a sweet little movie! I really enjoyed it. And it only took me three attempts at watching it over a period of about 5 days to get from the beginning to the end of the movie. With four little contenders to over see, if I even try to watch a movie at all it is one interruption after another or I just fall asleep from exhaustion!
I fell in love with Will Farrell in the movie "Elf" which was the first time I had ever seen him and I have to say this is still my favorite. Unfortunately since I have watched it about 100 times, I finally wore out the video and it no longer works.
When I saw Will in Elf for the first time, I thought I had discovered a really wonderful actor, much to my chagrin he has been around for years and years! lol - silly me!
I certainly never stay up late enough to watch Saturday Night Live - its the whole falling asleep exhausted deal again! :)

mother pride

she is 16 1/2 and taking out my car for the first time today, she is supposed to be here to pick me up at work just before 5:00 pm.

I am not worried.

Really.

I have the best kids!

not worried one little bit.

really!! :)

mother pride

Thirteen years old today!

How did such a screw up like me end up with such awesome kids!

no title.

The staff here is driving me crazy!
I am a nervous wreck!
They have not worked here very long at all and don't know shit, but they get these big job titles and big heads and think they know absolutely everything! And they tell me what to do and I just want to scream at them, "I hate you and I think you are stupid and rude and you should go eat a rusted decroded piece of crap and just die!"
But, I want to keep my job and I am not really sure why, oh yeah, cuz I am way overpaid for what I do and couldn't get paid this much anywhere else because my skills are like a high schoolers. In fact I am pretty sure that kids graduating from high school even know more than me!!

My little 6'8" nephew!

college bball went by too fast!!! click on the link to see his stats - his GPA is 3.7 - he says there is nothing to do in that town except study!

woah!

I counted up all the people in my department, that usually staffs 4-5 people. Since I started about a year and a half ago there have been 19 people that have been hired. Two have quit on their own and 17 have been fired. There is only myself and one other lady that have stood the test of time. Another thought on that note is that there were 10 other poeple in this position before me. That is why my nickname is "temp 11". (I was hired as a temp and then put on permanent.)

my new best friend!

My dear sweet little old neighbors gave me this bbq this weekend! They bought themselves a new one for their 47th wedding anniversary. John and Barbara are the nicest people you would ever want to meet. They are always outside working on their flowers and when I pull in we always visit. They are from England so they have these really sweet accents. I can never quite tell if John is saying, "Hello, Dear" or "Hello there." He helps me work on my car and although he is very slow due to age, and he dosn't really help much, he is so kind to try to help. They call cars carriages. "How is your carriage, Dear?" He will ask me and I assure him it is running fine, although it is usually not!! lol.

You can see in the bottom right corner of this picture the old bbq - it is that rusty little broken box...The old one used briquettes but this new one is gas. There is no gas tank with it but I think I can buy a little green one for not very much money.

We can't wait to use the new one!! I am so excited!

I also have all my pretty little lights up out on the patio and some candles out there.

You can also see the bikes, now that the sun is out the children have been riding. They are going to grandma's next for spring break (yeah I can't wait!!!!) and now I just need to figure out how to strap their bikes to my car...I did just buy some bunji cords at the dollar tree recently...

St Patricks Day Parade

The Boy Scouts had to play a little football while they were waiting to load up on the hay wagon and line up for the parade..."THAT is your goal little brother! I have DATED football players", she tells him, "So I know way more than YOU about the game!"

another one bites the dust!

they let one more go...
there is like practically NOBODY here any more...and it's not skills either, this lady brought in $1,000,000 a month, but I am thinking maybe her attitude sucked.

see, not matter what happens, i hold it together, or try to. although someone said to me yesterday, "Laura you are not your usual jovial self."

It is the time change I growled (lied). shit. they are firing people all over the place! I am scared to death. Yeah, and anyway, you try to get four freakin kids up and out the door by 7am during daylight savings time!


did I mention that I really hate mornings?

I forgot to mention

That fat mean lady got fired. The one I called my friend.

I have always hated mornings, in fact, it's the first thing I say every day

mornings-especially Saturday mornings, and Sunday mornings, are made for sleeping and making love. Where it is warm
soft
safe

all i want to do is cry

i don't know anything
i don't do anything

my days here are numbered, they are letting everyone go...

where am I going to find a such a good job?

XLI

Brandon still has not stopped talking about football since we were at the superbowl party!! lol.
He plays every day at recess, he ties to play in the house with his sisters or me!
He plays football video games & watches football on TV.
Last night he says to me, "Mommy don't you wish XLI was on every night!!!" That is what he always calls it, XLI.

I sure love my little man! Their energy and enthusiasm keeps me up! When it is not exhausting me!

That's what I'm talkin' about!

That's what I'm talkin' about!
be sure to click on the words beside little green arrows, because they are links to websites.

I am a dancing fool! It is what I love most I think. Music. Dancing. Going with some friends. Last time we went to...hm...cant think of the place I just remember hollering out the work "oupa!" a lot and breaking plates and dancing! Oh yeah, that was the Greek place with the purple octopus on the roof. Really, and no it wasn't all the Ouza I drank! lol. God, I just love to dance.


"Finding a Salsera or a Salsero in Portland who doesn't know about Fernando's is downright impossible. This is the home of the annual Fernando’s Hideaway Salsa Contest, where everyone is welcome to show off their Salsa art. With Salsa, Merengue, and a full bar, this place is often jam-packed with dancers, as well as people who are just having a few drinks and a pick-up. Dancing at Fernando’s is definitively an experience."

The time I spend not at work, I spend raising money for other stuff

My Three Girls

They took this picture of themselves, I thought it was great. When did they get so old?!

My twins Rock

Brandy in front of her instructors, about 30 class mates and all of the class mates parents. They really put them on the spot, she is a little shy but did fantastic!!

This little guy is so awesome!! I am definately going to have to get a faster digital camera!! My son earned his purple belt his twin sister earned her orange belt (he is not better,he just started sooner) He did a 360 degree side kick-three times in a row, it was awesome!! His teachers were very impressed!

whew! I like the green better!

the red was just for Valentines Day. It made me a little stressed to look at it tho!
Green is so much more soothing.

Speaking of green. The whole tropical theme in my bedroom got a little boring, so I bought a fur blanket and some fur pillows and now I call it "Narnia". I still have the strobe light and a pile of romantic CD's ready to spin. All this is in vain of course, because I am the only one in there! lol.

Aloha!

they are now sending folks to Maui to work. I wrote in my blog a while back that would be doing that and the time has come. Do I want to go? Yes and no.
They may just want to keep me here but I have set up a wonderful repore with the folks on the islands. The owner of the company even told me I was instrumental is getting our biggest job ever - a $2 million dollar contract! I do not really believe him but the owner of the other company SPECIFICALLY told my boss he was very impressed with me and enjoyed working with me. It did make me feel good, however, I will take the compliment but I don't think it is really all that.

is it rude of me or her?

so if you help somebody when they are a little busy and then they expect you to do that part of THEIR job all the time...what's up with that?

I have a dear friend that I made here at work, but sometimes I think she is just fat and lazy!
she goes home early and takes a lot of days off. And she works slow when she is here and dont ever ask her to do anything extra because she will tell you that she dosn't have time.

maybe the term "dear friend" is my problem here. She is sooo sweet & nice to me that I think that means she is my friend.???

I don't want to do her job anymore. I would rather do ANYTHING than help her right now. She is leaving for a four day weekend and emails me to please be sure and do her filing while she is gone. NO WAY!! skip your vacation and do your own freakin' filing, it is not my job!!

I am probably just really mad because she also complains about how "broke" she and her husband are and they have a big beautiful home and two brand new cars ( if I didn't have to pay for daycare for two kids (twins) I could have two beautiful new cars, too!!)

I could kiss him forever-a re-run from last Valentines Day!

year after year, some things never change and therefore are worth reprinting!
the link above will take you to this site to read about your kissing style or just see below:
Kissing by the Signs
Wondering how to satisfy your lover's ardent feelings? Keep reading for insight into the passionate nature of the Signs and then take the Kissing Style Quiz to discover what your liplocks reveal about you and your romantic destiny!
AriesYour kisses are quick and passionate fits of lustful pleasure that are there and then gone.
TaurusYour kisses linger; they are deliberate, heartfelt and they can go on and on and on…
GeminiYour kisses are interrupted by spasms of giggles, smiles and funny observations.
CancerYour kisses are warm and tender, and you never want to let them go.
LeoYour kisses are wild and uninhibited, biting and clawing; you expect applause for your performance.
VirgoYour kisses are so subtle and tidy, your lover only notices them once you've finished.
LibraYou're too busy worrying about your breath to really get into your kisses.
ScorpioYou skip the kiss and get to straight to … whatever comes next for you.
SagittariusYour kisses are surprising, spontaneous affairs that leave the kissed wanting more.
CapricornYour kisses are intense moments of sublime relief from the stress of your day.
AquariusYour kisses are wet and messy, and you tend to keep your eyes open.
PiscesYour kisses are starry-eyed, amorous and long-lasting.

http://quiz.women.com/games/tests/kissingstyle.htm = the quiz to see what your kissing style reveals!Happy Valentines Day!!

Red!

I love red.
Especially red leather.

Just got myself the red Motorola Razr, kind of a Valentines day gift to myself. I can watch TV on it and everything.

I really thank God every morning and every night for my job

They are laying people off again in the shop. I can tell because the conference room is across the reception area from me and they are filing in and out...
I really do thank God every morning and every night for my job.

countownd to the superbowl!

i bought one square and ended up with 2 as my winning numbers wish me luck!!

i really need a vacation (sadly I already do 11 & 13)

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity .
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write " For Smuggling Diamonds"
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity....... Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile. Its Called ..... therapy

a little humor

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYCd5OrtkKGAEjT2-ow17_rZLd5AVDeD7wsWsCN4en6GdMH5K7pIB6Kly87914PTVxrrSpddHFpBe7fcEDsA7fGHkpWXfBBzAqUwPlgykWtyWqREbjBUJPISneossUdhaKe0KWfg/s1600-h/Beer-yournewbestfriend.jpg

full moon

I will be looking at the moon, but I will be seeing him...

i cant write or call cuz i get no response back and that means i won't see or hear from him for like another year

i love him and he hates me.

ok, so now I am thinking I DONT want any myspace friends...

There is some pretty weird shit out there...

went to GI Joes again looking for kids PE shoes

Same rude treatment from the same rotten kids working there, complained to the manager this time-I was hot!!- and said I had been in twice this week and received the same rude treatment that I left with nothing both times and would probably not be back.
I am really starting to sound like my mother and I don't like that a bit, but dangit!! I also went to Victoria's Secret shopping yesterday and they were so kind and polite and helpful and that is how it should be. I won't be treated with disrespect by stupid kids.

I feel so old

Sometimes I really don't like young people that work in stores. The little girl in this picture is mine, so I love her.
The sun came out this weekend and we wanted to fill up our bike tires and fill up our basket balls and soccer ball. I went to GI Joes to buy a tire pump and they had all they fancy kinds that were very expensive. I just wanted the old fashioned metal kind that has the metal flaps that flip down that you stand on and you plug it in and pump. I asked two young sales people and NEITHER ONE HAD ANY IDEA WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT! They had never seen one. I was so mad. I just want plain ol' simple life. not all this fancy expensive stuff that is out there.
And my 12 year old asked me today, "Mommy, do you want help with your cell phone?"
It makes me depressed.
There is nothing that this millenium has to offer me so far that would actually IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF MY LIFE. Yeah it looks cool and "everyone" has one, but what the heck?? It won't improve my quality of life. I really don't see the point. All I want is the sweet smiles (like in the picture here) and hugs and kisses, tea and biscotti (I am going to learn how to make biscotti soon), and the love of my treasured friends and family (and lover)...to make me smile and consider a day really worthwhile. Amen.
oh yeah, and if I could get one or two friends at myspace...I don't know how to navigate that very well and that makes me feel old, too!

snow

snow

myspace

http://www.myspace.com/lauramawgawrita

I love a holiday!

I love a holiday! I already have about 6 boxes of chocolate cake mix for the little football cupcakes. Then today when I was at Winco on my lunch I saw the brownie mix and decided to make brownies with caramel also! AND then I saw the marshmallow cream and I think that would be good in brownies, too!! I love my own cooking! call me crazy, but there is nothing more fun than getting together with family/friends/ my lover (how i miss him) to cook and eat!!
http://www.buttersbrownies.com/?source=0D130I

Thank God I have more time!

I have so many little football cupcakes to make, we are going to set up an assembly line at home and just knock it out every night from now till it's time!
(I thought it was this weekend, silly me)

blondes really do have more fun

Made it back with my car fixed.

now i am stuck in washington cuz my car broke down.

drink more, think less. cheers.
came up for a basketball game.
we won.
cheers.

boo.

the problem you know, is really that my heart is just set on one man. and he hates me. if anyone else treated me like this i would just about punch them in the nose. so, that means the problem is with me. it is mine i just have to figure out what to do with it. continue to be ignored and rejected all the time...
nobody turns my head like he does.
he is so handsome.
and sexy!
Oh my goodness you can't believe how sexy he is and how much he turns me on.
there are other handsome men out there, but not in the same way that he is handsome. there is plenty of sex out there to be had, but why waste my time when his is the body i really want to taste and feel and be touched by. could i just freakin' get him out of my mind and move on?? I have tried, and tried and tried. For FOUR LONG years I have tried. all the others bore me bore me bore me. this one, he and i click on a level that i don't click with others...not yet anyway...what is a girl to do?get drunk and fuck his brains out that's what!!
actually i could totally skip the booze it would be nice to make love to him sober for once.
Boo.
oh yeah...i am out of town this weekend so why does it all freakin' matter i am not available anyway....
note to self: think less. drink more. cheers.

all he ever does is hate me.

I am so happy!

I went to the doctor!! I haven't been in a looong time! It felt so good to take care of myself but I gotta tell you, somethings have really changed...
I got an EKG and they are so polite and politically correct now that: 1. they asked please would I lift my own breast up so they could attach the electric things. They used to just sort of shove and push and it was really dehumanizing. (sp?)
(I got an EKG because my heart was hurting and since I have had heart medications, conditions/sugery in the past it kind of makes me nervous)
2. They were very polite to me and said I was very nice and that I did a good job! (where's my gold star sticker?) They were impressed that I had all my childrens ss#'s and knew my ex husbands home address. 3. I did not have to make a copay at the time of service, they will bill me!! I loved this part because I have no money. I used to feel like such low life scum to need to go to the doctor but not have the copay-they kind of make you feel like a loser and then attach an extra charge for "late fee" if they have to bill you. What's the point of going in an attempt to take care of yourself if all you feel is BAD? 4. I have a follow up appointment for a PAP and mamogram. I am actually looking forward to this! It is just so empowering to feel like I am doing the right thing FOR ME. woah. I only do the "right things" for my children, my mom, my brother, the teachers, my employer, my co-workers, NEVER ME. this is so cool. 5.

?

It's ok to look...Dr. Phil said so

This will be my year.
But have you ever searched match.com for single men between 35-45??? ugly. scary. freaky. gross. And they all think they are so hot. Like oh yeah mama, come and get me! NOT.

I read a research study once that interviewed 1000 not so attractive men and 1000 beautiful women. The men, even though unattractive at first glance described themselves as having good features such as big biceps, sparkling blue eyes, great shape VS. the women who said things like my eyes are too close together, my legs are too long, etc.
I really think we all should have stayed on the island of Lesbos.
NO I don't mean that, I really like men, I always sound like I am sexually confused. I don't know.
Maybe girls are more my scene. Women are so beautiful and much more interesting to look at. More interesting to talk to. There are so few men that are attractive. Maybe I am picky, but there just isn't much to see in the way of men out there. Of course they all want to be my "friend" and they take great care of me giving me rides and fixing my car...poop they just don't turn me on. They loan me their cars, they loan/give me money. They fix my car for free and pay for the parts that are needed to fix it.

he was only 26. ONLY 26!!

145%

My income has increased 45% since I started with this company in Aug of 2005. (18 months)
since my divorce/separation in January of 2003 (?) my income has increased 229%. (24 months?) Obviously I am not a math major.
I can take care of myself. I hated him so much but was so afraid to leave him because I did think I could make it on my own with four small children. Well I did and I am freakin' happy about it all!

Forget everything else I ever said!! This is what I really want for Christmas!!

All the men are talking about the diamonds and new carpet their wife's are getting for Christmas. Well they are only talking about it because I like to ask them. I like to think about how happy they are with their nice presents.

What I want for Christmas

ScorpioIf you were thinking of springing a gift card on a Scorpion this year, think again! The Scorpio thrives on emotion -- on the fuel of his own emotions, the emotions of others toward him and the drive to have his emotions understood. Your gift should reflect your feelings for and intimate knowledge of this very sensitive personality. Consider his passions, his talents, his sense of humor and devise a gift that can't be interpreted generically. If you don't know your Scorpio all that well yet, present your gift in a way that leaves no doubt that he is important to you. Perhaps a surprise unveiling is in order or a special meeting at a romantic spot -- maybe even the place where you first met. And because Scorpio can become so preoccupied with their tumultuous emotions, a tasteful blank book or journal might be just what he needs to channel that energy. Remember that Scorpio is the most sensual of the signs; while a thoughtful present can go a long way toward winning his heart, your passion for him is a gift that won't go unappreciated.

Will I really miss these little buggers when they grow up and move out?

Yes of course I will, that is why it makes me so mad at myself that I hate being a mom ALL THE TIME.
For example: last night I missed a really great football party that was being sponsored by one of our vendors at a really neat new club in town, all expenses paid, because my son got hurt at daycare...how selfish of me. Talk about feeling a lot of guilt for being mad that I have to take care of him instead of earting free food and drinking free beer with a bunch of really cool people!

And tonight there is another get together, free for me!, and I have to leave them at dacyare late...

Will I really miss these little buggers when they grow up and move out? Yes. Yes. Yes. And I will be old and alone and sad.

My littlest princess last night came up to me with a glass of water and said, "Mama!! Listen to me swallow!" She thought that was about the coolest thing ever, and it made me smile deep into my heart to see her joy discovering her little world. I am really going to miss these little buggers. I just wish I could find a way to enjoy them more before they grow up and move away...

the best time of the year? Bahumbug!

this article is good, too: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/stress/MH00030

My relationships are in the shitter. I am a lousy mom most of the time, cranky, depressed, tired. I am no fun at all to be around. I isolate myself.

Having the kids in sports really helped to get me out of the house and around other adults. I enjoyed the activity. Right now the weather freakin' sucks. My job is not challenging, it is very boring, I don't feel uselful at all. Nearly everyone has been fired.
I should be thankful I have a job, a nice place to live, a car that is paid for...healthy family, the kids get good grades and don't get into any trouble. I have everything I have ever wanted (except to be worshipped and adored like a godess!) but why do I feel like crying all the time? Am I an ungrateful slob?

our favorite place to meet and our first kiss

August 20, 2004

where we met

May 7, 2003.
From the very first time I saw him, I thought he was the most handsome man in the world.
This had to be fate, there is no other way we would have ever met.
I was able to watch him every day for eight months, close up.
(updated 5/9/2018- the link has changed since the restaurant shut down, but it was a McMennamins on Hall Blvd in Beaverton)

Did I mention my car has been broke down for nearly a week?

I hate this.

Parties, parties, parties!

The year end celebration is in the works! We are having a Fiesta!

I keep pretty busy running parties. It is fun, but it's not much time to eat, visit or relax. I have been known to fit in lots of dancing tho!! Every time we get a new employee they say, "You're the one that throws the great parties!" It makes me feel good.

The most handsome man in the world

I miss my sweetie.
I wish I had a picture of him to show you.
He is gorgeous! Tall, soft curly brown hair, a beautiful smile. He is such a masculine man, always stands out in a crowd. He oozes sex appeal! People always want to be around him.
Men want to be just like him.
Women just want to be near him.
C arefully
H e
R eaches
I nto my
S oul

I really like this picture

In fact, I think it turned out so well, that I made an 8x10 copy and hung it inside a 2" wide white matt with a very, very thin black frame. It looks awesome!
I never, ever, ever like pictures of myself. But this dosn't look like me so much that it turned out GREAT!

my party. Tavern Rock Creek 185th. The gang all knows, I think they are planning a secret.

http://www.mapquest.com/directions/main.adp?go=1&do=nw&rmm=1&un=m&cl=EN&qq=1ADqpk24ofBRq4TEzHoG8BPwpoZ95hs7krN%252fqBGgSqpZSBEQTN0LIFjCxyjwrQLGJr8%252fyrIyaAtGMDNlTexuUSGM7XGvSbZOvTQ%252b2Ef0OvFOZz%252fhZuTat5eoD6%252fBmJKm%252bY0kpbBd3zRr%252fVPin2LeLaRWg1oq9abRfuOF8LLBAXV51679%252fYAF7nJIRxoulrZdTT5y7wzSSknGhTOCB%252b5%252bObYJgk6UOVzB4NZ1WwrlQYeddvKVQqiWpv%252by02yrj4p0uGBDeciAGh9NRj6fm4QLlwujmbEYS8nOsLTPk6KRu5UZadBREuq8ZNb7dBGs8%252fmGTYVtF0SujbQn%252fUr5sWLiBBMyK0GzInE66p8EPs%252fgBm4%253d&ct=NA&rsres=1&1y=US&1ffi=&1l=&1g=&1pl=&1v=&1n=&1pn=&1a=4860+nw+shute+road&1c=Hillsboro&1s=or&1z=97124&panelbtn=1&2y=US&2ffi=&2l=QpWuzNbS8GyAcrb3W%252fVlQw%253d%253d&2g=Q%252bO2NUW0NL2vv9DweTOZ0w%253d%253d&2pl=&2v=STREET&2n=&2pn=&2a=%5B9902-9999%5D+Nw+Old+Cornelius+Pass+Rd&2c=Hillsboro&2s=OR&2z=97124

I was having a pretty good day until

I was having a pretty good day until
Some lane-brain had to mention that I share a birthday with Charles Manson...
I spent my entire life NOT KNOWING THIS!!!!

it was hard enough having another birthday:
I had come to terms with the fact that I am a little bit over 25, and not so young anymore. I will age gracefully, I don't need to fight it like I used to think. It really is better in a lot of ways. See how I can talk myself into these things? But Charlie Manson? It dosn't MEAN anything, of course, right?
I never read the books, or watched the TV shows, I tried to watch the interview with Gerlado Rivera a few yrs back, but the guy FREAKS ME OUT!

Now, Neil Young and I share a birthday, we may celebrate separately this year. It seems like just yesterday I wrote those exact words on my birthday last year...where does the time go, really?

I am looking forward to a really nice weekend with a special friend. Well not the whole weekend, just a little bit of it.

bored bored bored

today I feel like I have the most boring life ever-not even ONE friend on MySpace.com

oh!
mine is landislaura@yahoo.com

Oupa!

What a fun place to go!
The food was fantastic! The atmosphere was a kick off your shoes, get up and dance and have the best time of your life! We couldn't help but clap to the Greek beat of the music as soon as we walked in the door!! And the signing and dancing and belly dancers were to die for! They even have plate throwing! And they teach you some traditional Greek dancing. Highly recommended for food and fun!
Oh yeah, and the women there think I have great breasts, no this is not a lesbian bar. I come walking out of the bathroom and these ladies are talking about my shirt-which is a purple halter with silver glitter strings in between the bosoms (no bra!) and they not only love my shirt but agree I have great boobs! This is a compliment because of course guys are going to stare so that dosn't mean shit, but when women are breathless...that makes me feel GOOD! And one of the ladies I was actually out with, she did get a little friendly with me later, but I think she was just really drunk.
ALSO! I never mentioned that at my class reunion I got voted best breasts.

But, thinking of my breasts makes me think of the best place in the world, my truly most favorite place to be...with a tall dark handsome man on his patio bbq'ing...he is such a freakin' hot hunk of a man!! I adore him!

When I was pregnant at 33 with twins and thought 40 was old

I used to say that I would rather be pregnant with twins (my 4th & 5th children) than turn 40. I thought 40 was really old and that pretty much nothing in the world could be worse that being 40!!

I turn 40 next month.
But at least I am not pregnant.
As soon as those little babies were born, I had THAT part of my life put behind me!

Now I just need to find some of my feeble old friends and if we can stay awake late enough, maybe we can hobble down to the nearest swinging joint and cut a rug!

I am so amazed that this beautiful child is mine!

Just another snap-shot from the party at The Pittock Mansion.

Homecoming was so fun!

I did not hit this deer, I just ran over it's little ears...
We circled back around a couple of times to get a picture, because the twins were asleep and we KNEW they would want to see it. We had nearly hit a herd of elk earlier in the evening. We did see another car later down the road that had hit an elk. And we missed hitting some deer a few other times.
My 12 yr old says to me, "we are sooo poor, if this is what we do on Fri nights after homecoming."
My daughter was one of the princesses.
I was so proud of her!
Don't touch my hair!

how safe is your neighborhood? Search here

and also search here:

http://www.criminalcheck.com/

"If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world, and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day."
- E. B. White

much to my chagrin

I have given up on love, fortunately there is still SEX!http://www.sexualastrology.com/
http://www.hotscopes.com/Compatibility/Cancer_Scorpio/
http://www.miltonblack.com.au/compatibility/scorpio/cancer.htm
I have been able to remove that silly Libra, although some of my best friends are Libra, my heart-much to my chagrin-belongs elsewhere...
http://www.myjellybean.com/soulmate/scorpiocancer.html

The first party I threw $15,000

This is Pumpkin Ridge Golf Course, where we held our year end company party last Dec. This was an awesome party, too. It was all decorated with poinsettieas and lights, and we had a band and good food-our parties are all pretty much the same. It is an honor to be able to plan them. I will look for more pictures...

Here's $10,000-throw a party!

pictures from our Company picnic, this is the second party I planned. We danced to Loyd Jones-what a hot band! My new favorite.
We had yummy food, a clown and games and prizes for the children, a slide show, the fun went on and on.
I know these are just a pics of me and the mansion, I have to get more on here. It was a wonderful night and everyone had a great time!

class reunion tonight, pictures next week!

You're gonna make it after all

I just realized this morning, the magnitude of my job.
I am an executive in the accounting department of an international architectural firm.
cool.
I wear pretty clothes and go to meetings and lunches on the corporate account.
cool.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, right?

Sometimes, most of the times, I wonder if I only like this new guy because he reminds me so freakin' much of the last guy i was so crazy about.
this guy looks and acts so much like him. Very tall, long legs, soft brown hair, light brown skin, very funny and smart and kind....I hate it.
I havn't seen that last guy in I dont know how long but why in the hell do I still think about him?!!!! And miss him? And want to have sex with him? Mostly I think it's because his dick was so huge and hard and SIZE REALLY DOES MATTER.
Is it wrong to be with someone only because they make you think you are with that other someone, I can pretend I am with the one I really like????
How do I separate the two?
It's not like I am even "with" this new guy. We just work together. So far.

What was on TV the week you were born?

For months now I have been feeling like Mary Tyler Moore in that TV show she made long ago. The one between the black & white one with Dick VanDyke and the third series she did. I feel like throwing my hat in the air and dancing in the streets!
Must be in my blood because the show"That Girl" was on TV the week I was born! Nov 12, 1966.
My dream has been to be treated like the passionate woman that I truly am! Keeps a smile on my face all day!

points

The new guy at work earned all his points back.
I asked him if he wanted to buy some girlscout cookies, and he did. And then he went to the other offices to get them to buy some, too. He is so cute. Really tall, brown hair, hazel eyes, really BIG hands and feet. I don't care what anyone else says, and I am too old to be polite about it, but size REALLY does matter!! :)

I am a freak, no matter what you say

This is so weird
I just re-read my little diary book, over a year after I had written in it. And to be honest my feelings haven’t changed.
This is unfortunate.
This is crazy.
I haven’t spoken to that man in over 6 months, longer maybe.
I wrote in my journal how he had had me over to his place and told me “this is the last time”. How I left before anything intimate happened. How I cried and cried on the way home. “How could he do this to me?” I screamed in wretched pan. Tears streaming down my face.
But now, time has gone on. The sun managed to keep rising every day. I remembered to breathe.
And I am shocked to find, even a year, two years later, three years that I still feel the same.

Once in a while.

I think about him often
I dream of him at night
I ache for him
At times
The same old songs make me feel the same old way.
It hurts.

The kids have grown and flourished.
My job is going awesome!
The new apartment is nice. Very plain – no frills. Almost affordable. Very close to work. I was driving an hour every morning and every night. Paying $2.25 to wash and dry one load of laundry-not to mention the hauling of all that laundry. Gas was up to unbelievable heights! $2.25 a gallon or more I think it reached.

There are some nice men at work. They are so nice to me. One I like, I can tell he likes me. But he is engaged. He seems to be having doubts about getting married. He is very cute and smart. He re minds me of my uncle.

And this new guy. A real fox and so very very nice and professional.

I don’t think I have prayed enough for him to be out of my heart.
I don’t think I have prayed enough for someone new.

But #$% is so nice. And so cute. And he lives so close. And he is so engaged.
Maybe.
#$%^&
He has the best kisses. And best other stuff!!
Damnit!
I want out of this cycle.

I think of you so often
You keep dropping by my mind
at the strangest times
and in the strangest places
how nice it is
to be constantly reminded of you.

Do you think of me
Like I think of you?
Do I burn inside of you
Like you burn inside of me?
I can see the tilt of your head when you listen
And the smile in your eyes when we talk
The colors of your hair
I can feel the warmth of your hand on mine
The heat that surges through my veins when you look at me
Stand close to me
When will this sweet tender pain STOP?
Will the longing ever end?
I have prayed
Begged
Cried
For mercy.

Do I do this to myself? Have you cast a spell on me?
It’s the curl of your hair and my cheek against yours, your neck that cries out to my lips. My hand in yours, your breath in my ear
So warm
So perfect

Its when nothing else matters
How everything disappears when you walk into a room
Every time it happens that way
The very first time I saw your handsome face
And every time since. I remember exactly the very first time I ever saw you.

I remember the very last time.

And all the times in between.

How mad you got when I drew a heart around our initials on your windshield.

The many beers I’d drank that night that made me think it was cute.

You never wrote

called

sent flowers

Or ever came to see me.


I have guys that call me constantly that I don't really care about and I treat them the sameway. i am rude, i ignore them. i stand them up on dates and don't apologize. I just don't really care. Like this guy and me. he just wasn't that into me.

the new kid on the block

There is a new man working here.
He is so cute.
A little younger than me I think, but he sticks to me like glue...

He says he has "housemate" does that mean he is gay? That would explain his kind, funny and attentive behavior - along with his good looks.

For all the good things I ever did

I love my job.
My job loves me.

They want me to help open new offices.
The office in Kona will be first.
Who would say no?
they would pay my rent here, and since I just moved into an awesome new apartment I am stuck with the lease anyway.
They would pay my expenses over there.

Why does this feel weird?
Why wouldn't I go?

Why havn't I bought the plane ticket yet?
Hell Ya I am going!!!!

Oceanside CA is next, then Tampa...then who knows!!! the sky is the limit!!

Happy Birthday to Neil Young & Me!

We celebrated separately this year.

even my life looks slightly interesting viewed this way

attempt at pictures

attempt at pictures

Just take the compliment and shut up!

I love a great compliment!
Our warehouse manager just told me I look smashing, or was it sensational?? It was an "S" word and probably the nicest thing anyone has said to me, at least in a very long time. And today is casual Friday, too. But he is like SO married. He is always telling me that he is "available" like he is so horny. He looks freakin' hot, like a man that loves a woman's body, really, and not just for his own pleasure, like he could drive her insane for hours and totally get off on it...oh wait!! there I go again, I have work to do!!!

Did you make a wish?

Wow!!
I will be 29 for the 11th time tomorrow.
I really hate to admit that I am aging, but I gotta tell ya that staring down the coming years is not nearly as bad as I thought it would be!!
I feel better than I think I ever have in my whole life. I feel wise, and fairly healthy even given the fact that I have put on numerous amounts of fat!! I have had five children, including twins, and even when I was pregnant with the twins I still didn't weigh this much!! It is coming off slowly though. Walking helps a lot.
I finally have a good job that I like.
I think I just feel like I am finally in control of my life. Not such a victim to other peoples freaks of nature. I make my own decisions. I suffer those consequences still, as I am not perfect.
I have more patience than anyone I know. Not that I don't lose my temper and cry and scream and yell.
I guess I just like who I am and what I have accomplished and where I am going.
I am not so lost any more.
Mostly, I thank God for antidepressants and health of myself and those that I love.

Three is not a crowd!

A man that will do all the cooking, including the grocery shopping!
A man that will do all the cleaning, including all the laundry!
A man with an enormous...er, um, hands...and soft brown hair, eyes that I could drown in...oh!I do get carried away....he makes mad passionate love to me three times a day and fulfills all my fantasies.

I must make sure these three men never, ever meet...

"Do you know why I pulled you over, Ma'm?"

I hate being called "Ma'm". The handsome young officer with the gold wedding band wanted to know, "Do you know why I pulled you over, Ma'm?"

Let's go back 12-14 months...

My head lights are out on my car. My running lights work, and the brights work but only when I hold the switch on the turn signal pulled towards me, which makes it very hard to put on my make-up and talk on my cell phone, let alone drink my coffee on the way to work.

So I totally quite driving at night; for the most part. Especially after I got a ticket last sprint for not having my 11 year old in a seat belt and that ticket was for about $150. Now that ticket I did not pay. I tried twice to attend the seatbelt diversion class but got the wrong building on the wrong night both times. So my court date came and went and I still didn't have the money to actually pay the ticket so my license was suspended. Along the line some where my insurance also expired and who has the money for that when there are so many mouths to feed and you can barely pay the rent?!

Last year for Christmas my mother gave me a new switch to fix the headlights cuz some freakin' mechanic (me and mechanics are a whole different story and it makes me tear up at how much money they have stolen from me in the name of new brakes and various other repairs they insist I need and how can I say no when I drive with kids in the car??) so this mechanic said it was a switch, well it wasn't so almost a year later I have almost never driven at night. See without a license or insurance I dont want to get pulled over!! I drive to work and I drive home.

So this kid from work says he will fix my headlights for free for me. He's going to hard connect it or something and just put in a toggle switch to run the headlights. I am trhilled!! So, today, we trade cars. I am driving his sweet little Acura with the jammin' stereo and the skull head stick shift and a V-6 with 2400 valves or something. I am at the corner to my apt. The light is green. I turn on my turn signal, it is dark, but his car has headlights that work!! I see a young man crossing against the light so I safely wait till he is half way across the street and finish my turn.

RED AND BLUE FLASHING IN MY REAR VIEW MIRROR.

There is a new law I recently read about that drivers now are supposed to wait till the pedestrain is completely all the way across the street to finish their turn.

fuck.

one year that i have outrun the law. till tonight.

i dig and dig through this boys car and can't find the proof of insurance.

the officer is not impressed with the skull head stick shift.

the computers are jammed and he can't verify my license. So he asks me if it is current.
I burst into tears, cuz i know that it's not and that i can't tell a lie and the last 38 years of heart ache and fighting every single day to not just jump off a bridge wells to the surface.

he is so cute, too. i mean really hot, tall, brown hair, large hands...

So now on top of all my other bills that I can't pay, I get ticket for over $1600. But he says he really cut me break. Thanks baby.

Gotmilk?

anentirebowlofcerealmilk,spilledonmykeyboardmakesmyspacebarstick.

The best times ever

My son really loves me. He is six years old. I came home from work the other night and he runs up to me and says so sweetly, "come here my mama and give me a great big hug!"

Then Saturday we hit the Dollar Tree Store and for just $2 you can get 106 little plastic soldiers (2 bags, one just didn't seem like enough), cowboys and Indians. We built forts out of the hamster hut and tee-pees out of crinkled up paper bags (to look like leather ya know) and strategically placed our men around the kitchen. (the only place we really have to play). I was only slightly taken aback this morning when I went to pour my first cup of coffee and there was a red plastic Indian pointing his arrow straight at my face!

We also bought some scary masks and they never, ever seem to get tired of, or un-surprised, at scaring each other!! They can ring the doorbells and sneak around corners jumping out hollering at each other and jump in fear and then laugh till they pee their pants, for what seems like hours!

We bought some spider web stuff and a bag of bugs, snakes, spiders & skeletons and hung those all up by the front door. Ours looks better than anyone elses!

All in a days work I guess.

A few things I have figured out

If I scrub the tub, and put down my expensive, thick, white, chenille bath mat - the children will wash the black long-haired Australian Shepherd.

Men are so easy to get over

Dropped my barely running car off and the repair shop this morning then walked to the beauty parlor. There is nothing like a pedicure, manicure and a massage from Sven to make my world a great place to live in again!!

It was over a year ago. We only "dated" a week. Sex with an ex for 11 months. Can't beat it. No strings.

If I could just get Sven to leave his boyfriend and come away with me!!Hell, on second thought I will take them both! I have never been a one man woman anyway!

how can one person be so mean to another?

the guy i liked for so long finally had the guts to tell me i was a worthless piece of shit and he didn't give a damn about me.
i knew that.
I have never been rejected so many times, in so many ways...never. ever. it's weird.

I hate men. they blame women, but it is obviously their fault.

all the time. it is their fault.

the men at work are all married but they have no problem saying they would have an affair with me. really. they wanna fuck me. they say so. they say they are married. but it never stopped them before. Its not like i havn't had married men before.

i wonder how much money that is worth. I'd like a nice new apartment and a better car. it's not like i havn't had sex for money before either.
the boss does everything he can to get me alone. I would think he was too busy running the fucking company. he wants me in his office, he wants me in his car. (red corvette)

it would be nice, if just for once, i actually mattered to someone. It is obvious I never will matter to anyone.
not in this life time.
it's too fucking painful.

I think I am better than that, but nobody else seems to.

Positive attitude

My little six year old daughter has the most positive attitude of anyone I ever met. The little darling has a wart on the bottom of her foot. A plantar wart, right? She calls it her flower wart.

I think I would have rather been a horse or a hamster

I am a lamb, what are you?

Squirrels and Kitties and Sprinklers, Oh My!

I believe everyone in our life is a gift to teach us something.
Most of it I havn't figured out yet.
I do know now that chasing squirrels and kitties and running through sprinklers at 5:45 am everymorning really can be a lot of fun!!
Thanks Katie Dog.

School daze

Everyone is off to a great start at school!
Well, except for Brandon. He decided the first day that he was going to quite.
"It takes ALL day, Mommy!"
He is used to kindergarten and their half days and of course playing all day during the summer. Boys just have too many other important things to do like playing astronauts and building roads in the dirt for their trucks.
Then he said, "the teacher said it was a game, but I KNOW it was math!"
Too funny.
He will be fine, not to worry.
Brandy is just too cute with her one front tooth missing and her little blonde pigtails bouncing around. The first one up, she is anxious to visit with her new friends. I mean, anxious to learn!
Lindsey, very shy, is making new friends at her new middle school. There are a couple of girls from her last school so that helps. And thank God!! Boys are still gross.
Haley is signing up for all the sports she can!! She is a real go getter and I know her grades will be good again this year.

We love you all!
Laura and kids

PS I have been offered a permanent position at the job I am currently temping at. It is a great company and I can go into a lot of different areas. I really just want to stay somewhere and retire! retiring is 30 years away, but looking for work sucks!
here is the website:
www.aluminumrailing.com

Click here to donate to the Hurricane Katrina relief effort.

Back to school!

My six year old son decided after his first day that he wants to quit.
He says to me, "It takes all day, mom!"

Take the quiz: "Which'>http://www.zenhex.com/quiz.php?id=2963">"Which Zodiac Sign Would You Be Most Compatible With?"

Libra
You may be able to have a good relationship with a Libra!

Three things kids always say

"Watch this"
"Can I have it?"
"Who farted?"

Who am I kidding?

I have learned as I have grown older that there are very few people I truly enjoy spending time with.
I don't want to take time away from my kids or family except for one very special person. And a few of my best close girl friends, which number totals about 3.
It's nice to know myself this way. Dating around? What's the point? Waste of time.