Mawgawrita

You can feel GREAT!!! coming out of my cave

2011-04-29T23:36:00.001-07:00

Laura Parks age 44, mother of 4 children ages 20, 17 and 12 yr. old twins.

Jus and I

Update April 28 2011

Started taking jus about feb 15 2011

I have been on every kind of anti-depressant offered since 1998.

I used to cry all the time couldn’t get out of bed to go to work I have been fired for being late too much

I was so sad

Slept all the time I was not at my job

The high cholesterol medicine and blood pressure medicine had too many side effects so I quite taking them the end of 2010

The feel of clothes on my skin made me irritable and cranky

I didn’t want to live and didn’t know why

Everything was miserable it took every ounce of energy I had to drive across the street to buy groceries

I couldn’t cook meals for my kids

Couldn’t clean the kitchen, bathrooms, do the laundry without being in physical mental and emotional pain

I would cry just feeling the weight of all I had to do in a day, I had to hide in my room under the covers, and life was just too much

I just couldn’t do it.

I would wash dishes on the weekends and then have to take a two hour nap

I couldn’t help my kids with their homework or even get them to school on time

I did not have the energy to care

I couldn’t take myself to the doctor to get my medicine changed, my mom would drive two hours to take me in, and I would be in my pajamas

I couldn’t talk or think for myself, my mother had to tell the doctor what was going on with me and that my anti-depressants weren’t working, again.

I don’t think I ever smiled

I thought everyone in the world hated me and that I didn’t even have one friend

I would not talk on the phone or send letters or emails

I would never go visit people nor have people to my house

I was a social recluse

I let people treat me like a doormat because I had no self-esteem or power to say what I needed or wanted or how I felt.

I have been dancing and out danced a 22 yr. old, she got tired, and I wasn’t sore the next day

I can run up and down stairs

My hands do not hurt from arthritis

The psoriasis in my ears is gone

I talk calmly to my children

I do not shake

I can laugh

My blood pressure is down ten points and I have lost five pounds

I had my cholesterol checked yesterday and am anxious to get the results

I wake up before the alarm rings and look forward to each day

I have renewed my friendships

I enjoy my family more than anything

I call my mom to see how she is doing

I call my brother to tell him that I love him

I went camping with my son

I don’t cry when the bottle of laundry soap falls and spills all over floor, nor do I yell at my children to clean it up while I run crying to my room

I call my children and spend time with them

I want to go to Mexico on a real vacation

I feel 20 years younger! click here

2011-04-21T20:15:00.000-07:00

I can dance for hours, run up and down stairs, and my kids say my skin is so soft! I have been living in a cave of depression for 25 years years and it feels so good to be alive again!

Got My Dancing Shoes On

2009-11-21T12:15:00.000-08:00

There is more fun than one girl can handle at all these dances at some terrific venues in this area! The price is so affordable and the live music is so great!

The ones I go to most often are The Refectory http://www.therefectoryrestaurant.com/
and
The Red Lion
http://maps.google.com/maps?q=-&sll=45530443,-122661149&latlng=45530443,-122661149,11752391508997972130

There are dinners and dances for the holidays that look especially fun.

tackling

2008-09-27T18:38:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzvZvSN2Y3k

my boy tackling another on youtube but the ref gets right in front of the camera

I have never wanted to slash somebodys tires so bad

2008-09-27T18:08:00.000-07:00

My kids had to hold me back...

Todays football game our kids are doing GREAT!! We were proud happy jumping up and down excited!! It was the best game so far. The boys were playing great and winning!!

Then this a**hole coach from the other team tells the refs that since my boy limped off of the field a little while ago that he couldn't play the rest of the game. My coach, our coach, went over to talk to the refs and the other a**hole coach and the rules state that if a player is carried off of the field, they are not allowed to play the rest of the game for their own safety.

I am serious I was ready to rip his face off. You think that football players are tough you just wait and see what happens when they piss off players mothers.

We had another player even earlier in the game that really was carried off the field but went right back out and played the entire rest of the game and the other team said NOTHING about that kid. That kid is a great player, too! Our whole team is!

Our team is red hot!! Your team is diddley-squat.

All the parents said it was cuz my boy was doing so good and that really IT WAS FOR THE PROTECTION OF THE OTHER TEAM. Because we were winning and they were afraid they were going to lose WHICH THEY DID LOSE ANYWAY and SET A BAD EXAMPLE because the entire stadium KNOWS WHAT THAT COACH DID. A**hole.

At the end of the game when everyone was leaving the other coach walked past my daughter and she said, "Great game, when #11 was playing!" #11 is my boy of course, her brother.

I am still freakin' pissed. That other team is our in city rivals and we will beat them every game every year for the rest of these boys time in this district.

football, baby

2008-09-07T15:53:00.000-07:00

I spend a minimum of 20 hours a week either at football practice, at a football game, watching football games on TV and watching football movies. We have watched Invicible twic every weekend since the beginning of August.
My son is an awesome player!! He is not afraid to do what needs to be done on the field. Best of all he totally loves the game!! He dreams about it, talks about it, gives me endless replays of everything that has ever happened at every practice and every game.
The only thing missing is my favorite Sunday afternoon game celebration activities.

isn't this the sweetest little face?

2008-08-24T20:56:00.000-07:00

This is our puppy, I just love her to bits and pieces!!

Football used to just amuse me

2008-08-15T19:25:00.000-07:00

Now I am not just amused at the game, I am totally confused!!!

Watching my sons practice there is so much to learn and it is so involved I don't have a clue whatg is going on!

I play football on Xbox so maybe that will help a little.

I was a football cheerleader in high school, but I really didn't have to know a thing just jump up and down a lot...

His coach thinks he is tough and awesome!!

next to NASCAR and NFL this is my biggest event this year

2008-08-02T09:05:00.000-07:00

http://www.achorusline.com/land/info/mario?gclid=CKf5qMnE75QCFScuagod93sQrg

As someone that grew up taking dance lessons, performing and competing until the age of 20 and is now over 40 and can only dream about dancing, going to see A Chorus Line is the biggest event of my year! I got to play around in local perfomances of A Chorus Line, Guys & Dolls and Grease. Oh and Alice and Wonderland but not a musical version. It was small town stuff but we were good and had a blast!!
I am so excited I can hardly see straight! I will laugh, cry and get chills all over!! I will remember this forever!

don't know what all the fuss was about

2008-08-01T21:42:00.000-07:00

don't know what all the fuss was about, I still have internet...

is it possible?

2008-07-20T10:06:00.001-07:00

I really, really just want to live in a kinder and gentler world.

bye bye free wifi

2008-07-01T23:16:00.001-07:00

http://www.redorbit.com/news/technology/1443285/portlands_wifi_network_making_an_exit/index.html?source=r_technology

no more free wi-fi

2008-06-23T21:23:00.001-07:00

as soon as those towers go down next week, there will be no more me online. dangit. I have a good time on here!

this cracks me up

2008-06-22T12:12:00.000-07:00

8th grade graduation

2008-06-18T21:26:00.000-07:00

High School Graduation

2008-06-11T20:51:00.000-07:00

The coolest person to hang with and the coolest place to hang

2008-05-24T21:43:00.000-07:00

http://www.pgepark.com/stadium/about/

geez, I don't have a picture of the coolest person to be with, but take my word for it - he is the hottest/coolest person to be with! He always makes sure I have a fantastic time. He even arranged for a full moon. I give him all the credit for that, too. :)

Two free tickets for third row seats in the VIP section with access to the guest lounge with free snacks and an awesome worms eye view of the Portland Beavers baseball game at PGE Park, two round trip tickets on Max - $8.00, beer, margaritas and nachos - $30.00, holding hands under a full moon - priceless.

where is the nearest abbey?

2008-05-24T10:31:00.000-07:00

on her way to become a nun.

i wish.

on her way to prom.

the funniest thing I have seen prior to that

2008-05-24T08:25:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OBlgSz8sSM

the funniest thing i have seen in 3 weeks

2008-05-16T21:28:00.001-07:00

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?cl=7769005

mothers day three years ago...

2008-05-10T00:39:00.001-07:00

http://mawgawrita.blogspot.com/2005/05/last-supper.html

dumbest kid in town

2008-05-10T00:24:00.001-07:00

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer 'This is the dumbest kid in town.... watch while I prove it to you.'The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks 'Which do you want, son?'The boy takes the quarters and leaves.'What did I tell you?' said the barber. 'That kid never learns!'Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice ream store. 'Hey, son! May I ask you a question... why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?'The boy licked his cone and replied 'Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!'

workin' overtime

2008-05-09T22:26:00.001-07:00

ok, I think I buy too much pizza. I walked in tonight and heard a round of, "Hi Laura!" I just feel like if they know me by sight and my first name, I go there too much.

Our new puppy!

2008-05-04T20:59:00.000-07:00

http://www.lhasaapsosavvy.com/1/lhasa-apso-ebooks.html?gclid=CNqE0Z7QipMCFQY_agodenhEgg
she is much cuter than this little pup. Check out the story...
My daughter's senior prom is in a couple of weeks. Her boyfriend put her favorite candy, Swedish Fish, in cupcake papers all the down the stairs to the outside and then down the sidwalk. He was at the end of the trail and was wearing a t-shirt that had on the front, "Will you go to prom with me". On the back of his shirt was printed, "If no, then give me my puppy back." He was holding the cutest little Llaso Apso puppy I have ever seen. She is black with a little bit of white and what a personality!! We have so much fun with her, she is just precious and we all love her very much!!

dublin

2008-04-11T22:55:00.000-07:00

http://www.discoverireland.com/us/ireland-places-to-go/counties/county-dublin/overview/?WT.srch=1&WT.mc_id=us_ga_0402_om_visitdublin

Are you kidding me?

2008-03-25T10:17:00.000-07:00

I am so bored. I am on vacation. All those closets I was going to clean look like too much freakin' work considering I am on vacation. that was my big plan before my vacation days hit. clean closets and go dancing every night. It's is very quiet here. I have read all my emails. I have deleted all my old emails. I have watched one movie. I really want to go to the zoo. I miss animals. one of our birds died, and the dog ran away. maybe I should just go to a pet store when I can look and hold them for free. animals are healing and so is dirt. like gardening dirt. not the soot that comes from all the cars and smog and stuff. i grew up in the country. i have always lived in the country. i have been in the city for about 6 years now. i swore i would never live in a city. i hate the city. i need to commune with nature to be happy. our dog was very healing for us. all the tail wagging and unconditional love. those big brown eyes. oh yeah and the fish died, too. it is all very sad. we have one bird left (our bird is very depressed he is a love bird and it shows he is sad about the death of his mate) and one hamster left living.I really should get those dang closets cleaned out...

XLII

2008-02-01T08:55:00.000-08:00

I have two standing invitations every year for Superbowl.Sometimes we drive to the coast for a big party at my parents house. The other is at friends in town. We are staying in town this year. This party is probably the most fun we have all year. there are tv's in every room of the house including the bathroom. there are bleachers set up in the living room!! there are lots of drawings, prizes and activities for all ages. they set up a wooden goal post in the driveway for some half time entertainment and kicking contests!! i can't wait!!

there will be no white flag above my door

2008-01-27T21:39:00.000-08:00

geeks, freaks, and bugger eating morons.
except one. i get so mad at him when he hurts my feelings.
i sure as hell don't know what i want.

I am a dancer.

2008-01-27T19:59:00.000-08:00

I just realized - while watching Men II Boyz sing their remake of "Same Old Song" I realized while watching them jperforme onstage that I spent from the age of 5 until the age of 21 on stage. I was a dancer. I took lessons, I performed, I acted and sang and danced in plays and beauty contests. Even a little modeling. I know I know you can't tell now, but I used to be really skinny! lol.
I haven't been on a stage in so very long. Not that I need or want to be I just know that in one of my many miserable lives I am sure I was a performer. I would have been like Cher maybe. I have been desperately aching for years to take country dance lessons, and belly dancing lessons, and now my girlfriends and I are talking about pole dancing lessons...

enough is enough and I have had enough

2008-01-27T17:34:00.000-08:00

and I am going to pay for it this time. pay money. cash. every month. match.com, whatever the hell is out there. I just want a nice person to spend time with once in while. most of the time i just do the free sign up and am not ever impressed with the pictures of men available. or the description. love the outdoors, camping and fishing are my life. they all say the same thing. but i think i need to give them an opportunity. they might be pretty nice after all and can make me smile and feel good. i am pretty sure God didn't intend for me to get old totally and completely alone.
ok. maybe next payday. I always say that...

Happy New Year Dress

2008-01-05T18:11:00.000-08:00

Did these pics show up??
these are the shoes I wore
shiny black glitter strappy sandles

this is the top I wore all silvery and glittery

I danced all night!!

can you picture this in shiny metallic blue?

2007-08-11T11:34:00.000-07:00

watch for me!

http://www.saturn.com/saturn/vehicles/ionsedan/overview.jsp?seo=goo_"

How, you ask yourself, is she going to get to Wilsonville?

2007-08-04T21:41:00.000-07:00

I don't know.

I think about getting another car, but just can't. I did the math while riding on the bus this week and figured that to travel as inexpensively as bus/train that I would have to given a car for free, have free insurance on said car, and have to get 50 mpg. not happening. I keep picking up lucky penny's, but it hasn't paid off yet.

I just know that I can't limit myself in regards of my "career" and it really isn't a career, I am just another hamster on a wheel trying to make ends meet every month. But at this new job, I have the OPPORTUNITY to learn more and get paid more. That is what I am after. I have maxed out as an admin assistant.

celebrating

2007-08-02T13:28:00.000-07:00

I have had my shot of Crown Royal, a few beers, and pizza with friends.

When I told one of my friends' husband, he got tears in his eyes and gave me a great big hug!! And then about a million high-fives! Everyone knows how hard I have struggled and how hard i have worked. He said he would be my slave for the night and would give me anything I wanted. Well, all I wanted was to borrow his car so I could go home and feed and potty the dog.

Now, I just need to find someone to make love with. That would top it all off nicely, don't you think?

I JUST GOT THE CALL!!!!!!

2007-08-01T15:02:00.000-07:00

I FINALLY FINALLY
GOT THAT JOB IN WILSONVILLE

I effing hate people sometimes

2007-07-27T11:23:00.000-07:00

the new lady at work well i just hate her sometimes
why do people say rude things?
we were talking about my leaving htis job and updating my resume and she offered to help which was nice.
then i mentioned iw as only out of work 5 days between my last jobs, i was proud of myself. and she smarted off with, 'yeah but you had a friend that worked here". so fucking what. that dosn't mean i am any less hireable, qualified or valuable does it? of course not. i effing hate people sometimes.

can you imagine a 289 foot commute???

2007-07-26T13:22:00.000-07:00

god takes my car, he takes my kids, he takes my money, he makes me do things i would never have considered doing, and i get to interview for a job next week and the commute is 289 feet.

289 feet. that is what it said on mapqwest.

Tight skirt, bus stop

2007-07-23T17:00:00.001-07:00

I love a great joke! And this is nothing like a great joke! Current mood: contemplative Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
I ride the bus and train to get to and from work now. My total commute is a minimum of 5 hours every day. About 2 1/2 hrs ea way.
If I didn't have jokes like this, I jump off the Markham Bridge next time the bus I was on drove over it!

Tight Skirt, Bus Stop

One day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach to step.
Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzipped her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step.
So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifted up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step.
So, seeing how embarrassed the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The girl turned around furiously and said, "How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!"
Shocked, the man says, "Well, ma'am, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends."

actually this whole thing is just stupid. i think i will stop now.

2007-07-20T14:00:00.001-07:00

so today i am trying to find anything i can on this man

2007-07-20T13:23:00.000-07:00

i am going to get the book first of all.

then i am going to try to find out where my garbarge is dumped because i would go to the dump and dig it out all those letters i threw away with my bear hands if i could.

i have looked casually for him over the years since our last contact which was approx 1993. i have put his name on my blogs, yahoo id stuff, etc. but nothing ever came back until yesterday. July 19, 2007. his name is on this blog, on like the very first page when i wrote my 103 things about me. It is #7. That is nearly at the top of the list. I wrote that particular list in the spring of 2005.

I wonder if he wrote any other books and how i would find them.

can i cuss on here?

2007-07-19T17:00:00.000-07:00

goddamnit to fucking hell i have never been so mad. (at myself)

Just three short weeks ago i threw away an entire box that was full of love letters, cards, pictures, poems, gifts and memorbilia from my very first love. I threw away the script from the play we were in together - that is how we first met. he was the only man, in my whole freaking miserable life, that ever made me feel loved. now it turns out that my very first love led a crazy fantastic life and is famous! and i probably could have sold all of that stuff and made some money. and money is what i need, baby. Cash flow, that is all I care about.

here is the link that explains it a little of it, i just don't have the energy right now. http://www.amazon.com/Race-Against-Evil-Criminals-Real-life/dp/0882822314/ref=sr_1_1/104-8909895-3902343?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1184952094&sr=8-1
that is the link to his book on amazon.com
there is a lot more and i will put the links i have found so far on here.

I have looked for him - on and off - for years. We never forget our first love, right? And wonder where they are, what they are doing. And it was an epic love. The first, the deepest, the longest lasting. Through different states, different colleges, different religions, different parts of the worlds, marriages and children-and death. I wouldn't be with him now of course, but a part of us always wonders...where are they now? what are they doing? are they ok? Love is love, thru time, space, distance, dreams. I saw you again, I walked where we first walked...I have memorized nearly all the hundreds of poems he wrote me. (if he wrote them at all, it makes a person question stuff) The good news is that it doesnt really matter now, but it sure is interesting!!

he is actually a fake and an utter liar, according to what I just now found out, and he has been arrested and may still be in prison, i don't know. but it is all very fascinating and i was his love as all this was going on.
since 1980.
for 27 years i have beebn moving this box of love letters, poems, etc everywhere I go. Just like I move all my babies first pictures, report cards, etc.

AND THEN A FEW WEEKS AGO AS I WAS PACKING TO MOVE, I DECIDED IT WAS FINALLY TIME TO GET RID OF EVERYTHING HE HAD GIVEN ME. (Except for one book of poetry he gave me and a small box of letters, poems, etc. ) They were serving no purpose, hadn't served a purpose for decades, and i was really tired of packing all these boxes of stuff. I mean I really cleaned out my closets of clothes, got rid of I don't know how many boxes and bags of books, etc.

i just have to get this posted and will add more as i have time. un-effing-believable. My mind is spinning.

asset or liability?

2007-07-15T15:26:00.000-07:00

we are conviced we need cars, when in reality they are just another liability. Current mood: amused
this is so ironic.
i manage to get my car, whose transmission just stopped working, towed to my apartment. then we get a notice that the parking lot at my apartment complex is going to be repaved AND I NEED TO FIND ALTERNATE PARKING!
(my girls and i are going to push it aways down the road , and then push it back a few days later. the good news is that we really don't have to move it that far)
I have saved SO MUCH MONEY ON GAS. I really don't mind NOT HAVING A CAR. Now, my new commute is an entire new subject and going to be a real pain the arse'.
i am going to ride my daughters bike approx one mile to the nearest max train station. get on max and change trains either two or three times, and then ride the bike about 2-3 miles to my current job. It will take about 128 minutes.

WE GOT THE JOB!

2007-07-14T16:29:00.000-07:00

We got the job. Well, almost, it is so close I can taste it! Or at least I am one step closer...it just felt good to say it. Actually I have been told I have the job for months now, but it dosn't mean a whole lot yet till they get on the payroll.
The person that i am to replace has finally left!! The position is open. And the bank manager wants me there bad!!!
I was unable to go to the beach like i had been planning for the last I d0n't know how many months and months. But as it turned out I got to have PF Changs (sp?) chinese food and cold, cold beer with my supposed new boss and I got the good news! I can even get a ride from her to Wilsonville 2-3 days a wk (and i sure hope she dosn't let me down cuz she has a horrible attendance record! Calling in sick for sunburns, hangovers, etc) so...now we wait again...got to get the final ok from her district managers...i am so scared. i am so excited.

this is my car. this is my car after my teenager drove it, any questions?

2007-07-11T15:19:00.000-07:00

well she didn't crash it, but it did break down. this is how i feel. i feel like this picture looks.

Mawgawrita: Oupa!

2007-07-10T11:06:00.000-07:00

Mawgawrita: Oupa!

http://www.greekcusina.com/

Men like Howard do not exist

2007-07-10T09:22:00.000-07:00

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=178325652

a couple more good ones

2007-07-10T09:05:00.000-07:00

http://www.ihatemen.com/FunnyQA.htm

Have you read this?! Funniest I heard in a long time!

2007-07-09T14:32:00.001-07:00

Martin, a loving husband, was in trouble. He forgot his weddinganniversary and his wife was really ticked off at him. She told him,"tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goesfrom 0 to 200 in under 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE."The next morning, Martin got up really early before work.
When his wife woke up a couple of hours later, she looked out thewindow, and sure enough, there was a small gift-wrapped box sitting inthe middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran outto the driveway, and took the box into the house. She opened it, andfound a brand new bathroom scale.
Martin is not yet well enough to receive visitors.

I miss my old apt

2007-07-09T09:07:00.000-07:00

Where we are living now is so small!
I miss my old apt so much. it was huge! Like 1,500 sq ft including the deck.

I have always disliked sales people.

2007-07-06T14:39:00.000-07:00

I would never-ever-no-matter-what-in-my-whole-life date a sales man.

It has just always been a rule of mine.

(but i think i might be turning into one!)

Check it out, so this granite & marble gig (job I have been at since April) is starting to work out ok. Our boss has left for China and I have a little less supervision (micro management). I have made some sales today!! We do marble, granite, travertine, etc. counters. I actually had a pretty fun day!! People came in and called and there were no other sales people here, the boss is in China and the shop workers do not speak English. So, I had to figure this all out on my own and I rocked!!!

And on Fridays I wear jeans to work and it is so sexy to go out in the warehouse and get all dirty!

When other sales staff/employees are here, they butt into my business (work). So I back off and let them take over. But often times the customer will still stand by me, look at me and talk to me because I think they know that I click well with people! I listen to what they say and ask appropriate questions regarding what they want and need. When I started this job, even though I am a receptionist/administrative assistant, the boss told me if I sell marble/granite I will make the commission money. I liked that idea because that means more money for me! (Sidebar: I got a $1 per hour raise on my second day because he liked me so much!). See, people just pay me because I am nice. I have been screening new applicants for an accounting position here, and the ones I like best are n.i.c.e. they all have similar skills but the nice ones are really much more enjoyable to be around!!

this is me

2007-07-05T13:59:00.001-07:00

I need to find a job where I can get paid to be nice.
That is me.
nice.
and nice matters.
I hate it.
I wish I had more skills.
There are no jobs where someone will pay you to be nice.
I have looked.
they don't exist.
Then...
I saw a quote by Maya Angelou. "People will not remember what you said. They will not remember what you did. They will remember how you made them feel."
I started this card business. Home based and in my "free time". It is fun. I like people and I have a lot of nice friends and family. It is important they know I love and appreciate them.
I can be nice to people. Show other people how to be nice to people.
Earn money. Not sure where that will fit into this scenario exactly. But I think the money will follow later.

I also think I would be a good motivational speaker, but I don't have any topics I could cover eloquently.

ahhh...the "other new job" what a nightmare trying to get it has been (since you asked :))

2007-07-03T14:04:00.000-07:00

my supposed new manager at the job in Wilsonville a freakin' alcoholic. And the person who's job I was supposed to take/fill hasn't actually left yet.
"business meetings/interviews" are conducted with infinite amounts of alcohol. Of which we have had a few. And, the next day it seems as if the entire conversation is erased from their memory. Or at least the parts I am interested in. They think I am very qualified but the other two bosses that I have interviewed with also, just want to put me in a lower position that also float to different branches (lots of driving=lots of gas money) and pays less. It would get my foot in the door but I just can't take the lower pay.
Can I?
Even if there are benefits. I must have cash flow, baby, cash flow!!!

I moved this weekend into a smaller apt and feel like I am in college.

(Except for all the children running around)

My Online Biz: On Being the Mother of Twins

2007-06-28T15:44:00.000-07:00

My Online Biz: On Being the Mother of Twins

Me so solly!!

2007-06-27T16:46:00.000-07:00

I feel silly!
I was perusing Oregon Blogs, and then Hillsboro Blogs (the city where i live), and people are talking about really important things like the war and the 2008 presidential election and where to find great deals and good customer service locally!
All I talk about is me, me, me. Oh, I am so embarassed. But this is just about me. and the kids. a single mother of four. pretty boring. there are my sex posts but NOW that just makes me even MORE embarassed because it turns out that Hillsboro is a pretty small town and MY PICTURE is on the front page of my blog! I get a lot of phone calls and emails for dates and I always felt like they were just wanting to see me cuz they thought I was easy and they were just hard up for sex, I mean seriously!! Married men!! NOT! And they say things like they will leave their wife and marry me, and how I am the perfect woman, etc. That is because they THINK I would have sex with them (and we all know married men AIN'T gettin' no lovin') and they are lonely and just need some reassurance that they are desirable. I am a nice girl. I look like the girl next door and I say "hello, goodbye, please and thank you" to people just like my mama taught me, but men take that as a sign and think they can get in my panties...?
I grew up in a small town of 1100 people ( grew up and never left as I lived there for 34 flippin' years!) So I move to the "city" of like 80-some-odd-thousand people and I am so happy for my perceived "anonymity" that I just blah blah blah my whole life story for the whole world to see!!

some people critize other people for taking these silly online tests

2007-06-26T11:42:00.000-07:00

But I like myself, and the more you know me you will like me, too.

Besides, as much as I need professional psychiatric care I simply can't afford it.

This is much more fun, don't you think?

What I have really been thinking about lately is pretending I am on a fabulous vacation!! I will stay at home but pretend I am in Mexico, for example. I will lay out on my deck and drink margaritas all day, things like that. I think it would be spectacular! I will wear pretty dresses and dance in my living room! And maybe sleep out on the deck under the stars and pretend I am sleeping on the beach.

I am probably the last person in the US to know of this site

2007-06-22T16:43:00.001-07:00

My ex-wife as I call her (the lady that is married to my second ex husband. I like her, but can't stand him!) has a boy in Baghdad, so I am keeping a closer eye on this than ever before.

Did you hear about the skunk that went to church?

2007-06-15T11:23:00.000-07:00

He had his own pew.

2007-06-14T16:06:00.000-07:00

Brandon James. We had a garage sale at a friends and he has a little table sitting in front of him with a couple of his old toys he dosn't play with any more. This boy LIKES money! I have never seen him sit still so long as on this afternoon. He made $2 and was thrilled. My kids know I can't not give them money (or much else) and that they must find some way to earn it themselves. And believe you me, they often have more money than I do!! This makes me proud of them. I overhear them say to each other, "Don't tell mom you have any money, she will want to borrow it." Cracks me up!!

2007-06-14T16:04:00.000-07:00

At the beach in Seaside, OR.

2007-06-14T16:03:00.000-07:00

On the swings at the beach in Seaside, OR.

2007-06-14T16:01:00.001-07:00

Brandy Elizabeth. I just love my kids so much and wish I could do a better job providing for them.

Overqualified, underqualified.

2007-06-14T15:57:00.001-07:00

I feel like I have no skills, but after interviews I am told I am overqualified. That means they don't want to pay me enough. (my words) boo.
My possible future manager at the job in Wilsonville, was supposed to have a meeting with her manager (s) today. We have been going back and forth on my actual job description and rate of pay. I just dont know what is going to happen.
I have found another apt and move the end of June. It will be ok I think.
I really need benefits again.

today i caught myself bowing to the phone

2007-06-11T15:48:00.001-07:00

i talk with China a lot, and today when i hung up the call, I bowed to my friend I was talking to...I wondered if she bowed to me?

OH! Nicola Raffo - our Italian Marble distributor, from Italy! was here today for an appt. It was devine!! He wasn't necissarily THAT good looking, but he was tall and from Italy! That carries a certain appeal. and he kissed my hand. yummy!

Dublin! Introduce yourself!

2007-06-07T09:07:00.000-07:00

beautiful!

2007-06-01T11:44:00.001-07:00

ok so i dont WANT to sound like a big baby,

2007-05-30T16:45:00.000-07:00

all i do is cry

2007-05-30T14:30:00.001-07:00

big interview tomorrow for the job i really want, but i am so beaten down right now that i just don't know how i am going to get up the job glam facade to go into that interview and convince them to give ME that job.

2007-05-25T14:39:00.001-07:00

2007-05-25T14:37:00.000-07:00

hmph! boo. i tried really hard to not make it a cancer, but i was also very honest. now you take the test.

2007-05-18T16:53:00.001-07:00

Your True Love Is a Cancer

Why you'll love a Cancer:

Cancer's loyal and sincere heart makes your own sensitive heart melt.
Caring and devoted, a Cancer will take the lead in pursuing you - and not give up!

Why a Cancer will love you:

You're laid back enough to deal with Cancer's little mood swings and freak-outs.
A fellow homebody, you know how make Cancer comfortable and at home with you.

What Sign Is Your True Love?

don't know who said this, but i like it!

2007-05-18T16:39:00.000-07:00

The difficult we do immeditately; the impossible takes a little longer.

i will never make as much money as i did at my last job

2007-05-16T11:39:00.000-07:00

i have set myself up for failure. there are no jobs, except the one in wilsonville which keeps putting me off for that third interview, that pay as good as my last job.
i have a very nice apartment which i wont be able to keep, the kids will probably have to change schools yet again. I really hate that part. I grew up in the same house in the same school, with the same kids my whole life. I really value that stability, i only wish i could provide the same for my kids. i really really really am not sure that i like this job. i am just so sad right now. there is nothing happy. it's all work, cook, clean. then my dang mom - dont get me started on THAT subject. she is so shallow sometimes. she tells me how wonderful her life is and how happy she is and how she has everything she wants...and i can barely keep food on the table. why would she talk like that to me? she is just shallow and unfeeling. i tell her i am miserable and that all i ever do is work and take care of kids...

what really bums me out the most

2007-05-08T17:05:00.000-07:00

What bums me out the most isn't the fact that I am not even sure where I will be working, (even tho I am working, I have some tough decisions about which job to take), or where I will be living (because where I will be working/how much I will be making determines if I can keep my current apartment or if I will have to downsize) but what really bothers me is the fact that I have this great new - free- barbeque but I can't afford the freakin' gas tank to make the thing actually work. That is what bums me out. NOT EVEN the fact that because I had to change jobs and have to drive so far now that my daycare is going up $800 a month. Ok that bums me out a lot. And the price of gas bums me out.
Not even the fact that I am leaving work right now and have to sit in a hot car, in the hot sun (that part makes me happy) with my heater running to help keep the engine cool because my car wants to overheat and I may sit on the free way for up to an hour and a half if traffic is bad.
All that dosn't bum me out as much as not being able to bbq. Have a good evening. ")

She moves in mysterious ways

2007-05-08T14:50:00.000-07:00

She moves in mysterious ways. God that is:
So I am "stuck" waiting for this other "better" job final job interview to take place. It will be my third interview and they keep putting me off. The job is pretty good, same pay as I left my last job, much better benefits! and bonuses. The job is in the opposite driving direction as this one. Right now, I am about 45 minute commute NE of my home (I bring this up because I had been commuting 8 minutes to work at my previous job). This other job I am considering is South of my home about - actually I am not sure how many miles but I drove down there last week to see how long it would take it is in Wilsonville. It's not so much the time that will bother me but the price of gas - I am not alone there. And my car has been threatening to overheat and if the car dies I am screwed because it will not get fixed, it will just sit until the tags expire and get towed away like my last one...
God moves in mysterious ways: at my last job, the only way to increase my income was to go back to college - and I was all set to do just that. Then they laid me off. (with many many others). So now I have an opportunity to learn a lot about the marble business and become an estimator/project manager/office manager, etc. My income will increase just by on the job training and commissions. That is pretty cool. Same with the job in Wilsonville, although it is at a bank. On the job training, they send you to "banking school" and your income increases. It's like God knew that even though I loved loved loved my last job, that because I was totally committed to staying with that company-that He would have to take that job away from me to get me in a better place financially. Does that make sense?

back on the chain gang

2007-05-07T16:18:00.000-07:00

This is where I am now. I was only out of work for 5 days. Didn't even have time to collect unemployment. It is a pretty good job. www.touchstonegranite.com

wil code HTML for food.

2007-04-23T14:36:00.000-07:00

got kicked to the curb friday afternoon.

They are eight and 1/2 years old now and all of a suddent they don't want their picture taken any more

2007-04-20T11:44:00.000-07:00

The school spring music show was last night, and do you think I could get this little boy to stand still long enough for even one picture?

2007-04-20T11:41:00.000-07:00

these just crack me up!

2007-04-18T10:46:00.000-07:00

I live for humor, otherwise I would just break down and cry! Heavy doses of anitdepressants also help! :)

never too much, never too much

2007-04-12T15:23:00.001-07:00

You're a Romantic Kisser

For you, kissing is all about feeling the romance
You love to kiss under the stars or by the sea
The perfect kiss involves the perfect mood
It's pretty common for kisses to sweep you off your feet

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

my little baby girl again!

2007-04-10T16:53:00.000-07:00

I am just so proud of her! She is a star basketball player and is on honor roll!

I fixed my own car!

2007-04-03T16:18:00.000-07:00

And I am so tired, I can't go into all the details right now, but I am so excited!! It was the same problem as last time and this time I didn't have to pay a mechanic!! That is what i am most excited about!!

I finally finished watching "Stranger Than Fiction"

2007-04-03T09:22:00.000-07:00

I finally finished watching "Stranger Than Fiction"
What a sweet little movie! I really enjoyed it. And it only took me three attempts at watching it over a period of about 5 days to get from the beginning to the end of the movie. With four little contenders to over see, if I even try to watch a movie at all it is one interruption after another or I just fall asleep from exhaustion!
I fell in love with Will Farrell in the movie "Elf" which was the first time I had ever seen him and I have to say this is still my favorite. Unfortunately since I have watched it about 100 times, I finally wore out the video and it no longer works.
When I saw Will in Elf for the first time, I thought I had discovered a really wonderful actor, much to my chagrin he has been around for years and years! lol - silly me!
I certainly never stay up late enough to watch Saturday Night Live - its the whole falling asleep exhausted deal again! :)

mother pride

2007-04-02T15:03:00.000-07:00

she is 16 1/2 and taking out my car for the first time today, she is supposed to be here to pick me up at work just before 5:00 pm.

I am not worried.

Really.

I have the best kids!

not worried one little bit.

really!! :)

mother pride

2007-04-02T15:02:00.000-07:00

Thirteen years old today!

How did such a screw up like me end up with such awesome kids!

My little 6'8" nephew!

2007-03-27T11:22:00.001-07:00

college bball went by too fast!!! click on the link to see his stats - his GPA is 3.7 - he says there is nothing to do in that town except study!

my new best friend!

2007-03-22T08:34:00.000-07:00

My dear sweet little old neighbors gave me this bbq this weekend! They bought themselves a new one for their 47th wedding anniversary. John and Barbara are the nicest people you would ever want to meet. They are always outside working on their flowers and when I pull in we always visit. They are from England so they have these really sweet accents. I can never quite tell if John is saying, "Hello, Dear" or "Hello there." He helps me work on my car and although he is very slow due to age, and he dosn't really help much, he is so kind to try to help. They call cars carriages. "How is your carriage, Dear?" He will ask me and I assure him it is running fine, although it is usually not!! lol.

You can see in the bottom right corner of this picture the old bbq - it is that rusty little broken box...The old one used briquettes but this new one is gas. There is no gas tank with it but I think I can buy a little green one for not very much money.

We can't wait to use the new one!! I am so excited!

I also have all my pretty little lights up out on the patio and some candles out there.

You can also see the bikes, now that the sun is out the children have been riding. They are going to grandma's next for spring break (yeah I can't wait!!!!) and now I just need to figure out how to strap their bikes to my car...I did just buy some bunji cords at the dollar tree recently...

2007-03-20T16:17:00.000-07:00

St Patricks Day Parade

2007-03-19T14:55:00.000-07:00

The Boy Scouts had to play a little football while they were waiting to load up on the hay wagon and line up for the parade..."THAT is your goal little brother! I have DATED football players", she tells him, "So I know way more than YOU about the game!"

another one bites the dust!

2007-03-15T16:44:00.002-07:00

they let one more go...
there is like practically NOBODY here any more...and it's not skills either, this lady brought in $1,000,000 a month, but I am thinking maybe her attitude sucked.

see, not matter what happens, i hold it together, or try to. although someone said to me yesterday, "Laura you are not your usual jovial self."

It is the time change I growled (lied). shit. they are firing people all over the place! I am scared to death. Yeah, and anyway, you try to get four freakin kids up and out the door by 7am during daylight savings time!

did I mention that I really hate mornings?

I forgot to mention

2007-03-15T11:20:00.000-07:00

That fat mean lady got fired. The one I called my friend.

all i want to do is cry

2007-03-13T10:57:00.000-07:00

i don't know anything
i don't do anything

my days here are numbered, they are letting everyone go...

2007-03-12T14:15:00.001-07:00

where am I going to find a such a good job?

XLI

2007-03-08T16:59:00.000-08:00

Brandon still has not stopped talking about football since we were at the superbowl party!! lol.
He plays every day at recess, he ties to play in the house with his sisters or me!
He plays football video games & watches football on TV.
Last night he says to me, "Mommy don't you wish XLI was on every night!!!" That is what he always calls it, XLI.

I sure love my little man! Their energy and enthusiasm keeps me up! When it is not exhausting me!

That's what I'm talkin' about!

2007-03-08T16:02:00.000-08:00

That's what I'm talkin' about!
be sure to click on the words beside little green arrows, because they are links to websites.

I am a dancing fool! It is what I love most I think. Music. Dancing. Going with some friends. Last time we went to...hm...cant think of the place I just remember hollering out the work "oupa!" a lot and breaking plates and dancing! Oh yeah, that was the Greek place with the purple octopus on the roof. Really, and no it wasn't all the Ouza I drank! lol. God, I just love to dance.

"Finding a Salsera or a Salsero in Portland who doesn't know about Fernando's is downright impossible. This is the home of the annual Fernando’s Hideaway Salsa Contest, where everyone is welcome to show off their Salsa art. With Salsa, Merengue, and a full bar, this place is often jam-packed with dancers, as well as people who are just having a few drinks and a pick-up. Dancing at Fernando’s is definitively an experience."

The time I spend not at work, I spend raising money for other stuff

2007-03-06T13:31:00.000-08:00

My Three Girls

2007-03-05T14:08:00.000-08:00

They took this picture of themselves, I thought it was great. When did they get so old?!

My twins Rock

2007-02-26T13:53:00.000-08:00

Brandy in front of her instructors, about 30 class mates and all of the class mates parents. They really put them on the spot, she is a little shy but did fantastic!!

This little guy is so awesome!! I am definately going to have to get a faster digital camera!! My son earned his purple belt his twin sister earned her orange belt (he is not better,he just started sooner) He did a 360 degree side kick-three times in a row, it was awesome!! His teachers were very impressed!

whew! I like the green better!

2007-02-15T08:52:00.000-08:00

the red was just for Valentines Day. It made me a little stressed to look at it tho!
Green is so much more soothing.

Speaking of green. The whole tropical theme in my bedroom got a little boring, so I bought a fur blanket and some fur pillows and now I call it "Narnia". I still have the strobe light and a pile of romantic CD's ready to spin. All this is in vain of course, because I am the only one in there! lol.

Mawgawrita

You can feel GREAT!!! coming out of my cave

I feel 20 years younger! click here

Got My Dancing Shoes On

tackling

I have never wanted to slash somebodys tires so bad

football, baby

isn't this the sweetest little face?

Football used to just amuse me

next to NASCAR and NFL this is my biggest event this year

don't know what all the fuss was about

is it possible?

bye bye free wifi

no more free wi-fi

this cracks me up

8th grade graduation

High School Graduation

The coolest person to hang with and the coolest place to hang

where is the nearest abbey?

the funniest thing I have seen prior to that

the funniest thing i have seen in 3 weeks

mothers day three years ago...

dumbest kid in town

workin' overtime

Our new puppy!

dublin

Are you kidding me?

XLII

there will be no white flag above my door

I am a dancer.

enough is enough and I have had enough

Happy New Year Dress

can you picture this in shiny metallic blue?

How, you ask yourself, is she going to get to Wilsonville?

celebrating

I JUST GOT THE CALL!!!!!!

I effing hate people sometimes

can you imagine a 289 foot commute???

Tight skirt, bus stop

actually this whole thing is just stupid. i think i will stop now.

more links

so today i am trying to find anything i can on this man

can i cuss on here?

asset or liability?

WE GOT THE JOB!

this is my car. this is my car after my teenager drove it, any questions?

Mawgawrita: Oupa!

Men like Howard do not exist

a couple more good ones

Have you read this?! Funniest I heard in a long time!

I miss my old apt

I have always disliked sales people.

this is me

ahhh...the "other new job" what a nightmare trying to get it has been (since you asked :))

My Online Biz: On Being the Mother of Twins

Me so solly!!

some people critize other people for taking these silly online tests

I am probably the last person in the US to know of this site

Did you hear about the skunk that went to church?

Overqualified, underqualified.

today i caught myself bowing to the phone

Dublin! Introduce yourself!

beautiful!

ok so i dont WANT to sound like a big baby,

all i do is cry

hmph! boo. i tried really hard to not make it a cancer, but i was also very honest. now you take the test.

don't know who said this, but i like it!

i will never make as much money as i did at my last job

what really bums me out the most

She moves in mysterious ways

back on the chain gang

wil code HTML for food.

They are eight and 1/2 years old now and all of a suddent they don't want their picture taken any more

The school spring music show was last night, and do you think I could get this little boy to stand still long enough for even one picture?

these just crack me up!

never too much, never too much

my little baby girl again!

I fixed my own car!

I finally finished watching "Stranger Than Fiction"

mother pride